jessica simpson isnt helping

By brendon March 12, 2010 @ 12:04 PM

late show guests 100310

On Monday, people started to freak out because Howard Stern didn’t realize everyone was supposed to ignore that Gabourey Sidibe is morbidly obese and has to wash herself with a rag on a stick. After a clip of him ended up on youtube, all the other fattys and outcasts banded together to stand up for her. Here is an artists conception of what that might have looked like.

Now Jessica Simpson has gotten involved, because she let herself go to hell too and instead of getting back in to shape she wants everyone to pretend like this is okay. E says…

“I’m actually surprised somebody had the cojones to say that,” Simpson tells me from a New York City hotel. “I just think that’s really disrespectful.”
“It’s unfortunate because she walked the red carpet at the Oscars and she owned it,” Simpson said of the Precious star. “She was beautiful. There was no denying that she did not think she was the most beautiful person on that red carpet. She was just owning that moment for herself. She had such confidence and I absolutely 100 percent think she could get anything in the world that she wants.”

I agree. Just as long as everything she wants is on the first floor and within range of her Rascal. Or if she really wants diabetes and heart failure. Hopefully she doesn’t want a 30th birthday or a conversation with someone new that isn’t completely awkward, because those things aren’t gonna happen.


(101) Comments

  1. DarkCherry 03/12/2010 12:07

    uh oh there was a monster in my bed….

  2. Watt 03/12/2010 12:08


  3. Rokan 03/12/2010 12:08

    Is that my Nana’s couch?

    What happened to the plastic slip covers?

    She is gonna be pissed

  4. Watt 03/12/2010 12:09

    Hey cali just you and me. You show me yours and ill put mine in it.

  5. oy 03/12/2010 12:09

    my grandparents used to have similar wall paper….

  6. RemSteale 03/12/2010 12:09

    Are those audition pics for Mad Men??

  7. Death to Finkle! 03/12/2010 12:09

    I think I like our Jessica slightly better than this Jessica.

  8. Watt 03/12/2010 12:10

    god dammit rokan you ruined the mood.

    *turns off gaga*

  9. Jessica 03/12/2010 12:10

    If you are looking for a partner based on lifestyle and physical chemistry as well as personal beliefs and common interests, you may try ** ––** Good Luck:)

  10. oy 03/12/2010 12:10

    with velour texture on the black.

  11. RemSteale 03/12/2010 12:11

    Jessica, you’re late. What happened?

  12. Death to Finkle! 03/12/2010 12:11

    …that’s my girl.

  13. Tuco The Ugly 03/12/2010 12:12

    Who did she eat?
    J L H?

  14. Rokan 03/12/2010 12:12

    I like Jessica. She gives me a purpose in my lonely life.

  15. Death to Finkle! 03/12/2010 12:13

    Maybe she found a partner without a Lifestyle, Rem. Break out the coat hanger.

  16. Watt 03/12/2010 12:13

    I’ll bet Jessica is Zombie.

  17. oy 03/12/2010 12:13

    for once i think Howard Stern is spot on about this chick!

  18. Sensei John Kreese 03/12/2010 12:14

    Fat camp calling on line 1.

  19. DarkCherry 03/12/2010 12:14

    i’m actually interested to see her new show about global beauty. i think it’s healthy she doesn’t feel the need to be a size 0 when she doesn’t have that type of body structure.

    plus her tits are huge now…

  20. Rokan 03/12/2010 12:15

    Can we all agree that if Jessica will show us her tits we will all go whore ourselves out on her stupid web-site?

    Who’s in?

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