lindsay wants $100,000,000. over this.

By brendon March 09, 2010 @ 1:54 PM

If anyone thought she was done acting like a spoiled, drunken retard, you can kill that because Lindsay Lohan is suing E Trade Securities for 100 million dollars over their commercial featuring a “milk-a-holic” named Lindsay. Seriously.

Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.
“Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Ovadia said.
“They used the name Lindsay … This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”
She says Lohan is owed $50 million in exemplary damages, plus another $50 million in compensatory damages.

Implying that Lindsay Lohan drinks too much milk is the nicest thing anyone has said about her in 5 years, so she better hope she was high when she did this. If her brain was running at full capacity, she needs to put on a helmet immediately and never take it off to protect whatever is left.

If anyone should be sued for defamation it should be Lindsay by other girls named Lindsay. According to the Social Security website and its ranking of popular names, ‘Lindsay’ has fallen every year for the past 10, from number 161 to number 380.

Even the name ‘Adolf’ started to make a comeback in 1948, just 3 years after Hitler died. Percentage wise, ‘Adolf’ and its variations have held up better in the US than the name ‘Lindsay’.

According to her attorney, everyone thinks of Lindsay Lohan when they hear the name ‘Lindsay’, so that means Lohan has done more damage to her name than Hitler did to his. I’m not gonna lie to you; I’ve seen better legal strategies.

(sorry for the late start, btw. sick as hell today)


(119) Comments

  1. Rokan 03/09/2010 13:57

    Suck it!!!!!!

  2. Olaf Metal 03/09/2010 13:58

    I wonder if she knows the baby cant really talk ?

  3. Olaf Metal 03/09/2010 13:59

    and if it was parody on her, the baby would have been incoherent and wouldn’t have had clothes on…. (aw snap)

  4. Jessica 03/09/2010 14:00

    Someone told me It’s the place where you can meet millionaires, who are searching for their special someone.

  5. DarkCherry 03/09/2010 14:00

    did brando just apologize for the late post?

    this has to be a joke right? she couldn’t possibly be that dumb.

  6. Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 03/09/2010 14:01

    ahhh Jessica, good of you to join us.

    Lohan should just be happy people still even take the time to reference her.

  7. Watt 03/09/2010 14:01

    You gotta be shitting me. How fucking stupid is bitch?

  8. Zombie 03/09/2010 14:01

    Just by a show of hands, does anyone give a shit that Brendón is sick today? Anybody?

  9. DarkCherry 03/09/2010 14:01


  10. Slaappy 03/09/2010 14:01

    So if I yelled “Audi Whore” would I get a summons?

  11. Rokan 03/09/2010 14:02


    I think he did.

    I feel all warm and fuzzy now.

  12. DB's Treasure 03/09/2010 14:02

    Fuck this shit. This story is so goddamn ridiculous, I don’t even have anything witty to say…





    vagina boob

  13. Observer 03/09/2010 14:02

    Is that Pepper’s kid?

  14. Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 03/09/2010 14:02

    I think if ali had any brains, she would sue her sister for “damage to the lohan name” and move the fuck away from all of the rest of the lohans.

  15. Rusty Sanchez 03/09/2010 14:02

    Wow, being in Lindsey’s head muct be a scary, scary thing. Kinda like the movie The Cell.

  16. Observer 03/09/2010 14:03

    I’d like to hear Beppo’s analysis of the Adolph slur…..

  17. ohmwrecker 03/09/2010 14:05

    Slaappy, I left a joke for you back on the other thread.

  18. ohmwrecker 03/09/2010 14:08

    I’m surprised Brend0n isn’t sick all the time given the amount of Asian tranny cockjuice he swallows.

  19. Slaappy 03/09/2010 14:08

    A good Henry Youndman joke Ohm?
    If I had blood, I’d blush

  20. Slaappy 03/09/2010 14:08


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