If anyone thought she was done acting like a spoiled, drunken retard, you can kill that because Lindsay Lohan is suing E Trade Securities for 100 million dollars over their commercial featuring a "milk-a-holic" named Lindsay. Seriously.
Lohan's lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna. "Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit," Ovadia said. "They used the name Lindsay ... This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan." She says Lohan is owed $50 million in exemplary damages, plus another $50 million in compensatory damages.
Implying that Lindsay Lohan drinks too much milk is the nicest thing anyone has said about her in 5 years, so she better hope she was high when she did this. If her brain was running at full capacity, she needs to put on a helmet immediately and never take it off to protect whatever is left.
If anyone should be sued for defamation it should be Lindsay by other girls named Lindsay. According to the Social Security website and its ranking of popular names, 'Lindsay' has fallen every year for the past 10, from number 161 to number 380.
According to her attorney, everyone thinks of Lindsay Lohan when they hear the name 'Lindsay', so that means Lohan has done more damage to her name than Hitler did to his. I'm not gonna lie to you; I've seen better legal strategies.
(sorry for the late start, btw. sick as hell today)