oh stfu esquire

By brendon April 20, 2010 @ 5:34 PM


Esquire magazine has come out with their ‘Women We Love’ issue, with fatty Christina Hendricks on the cover as the ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’, and at one point they have a 75 Greatest Women Of All Time list. For Karen Allen (yes, Karen Allen), they write

Animal House! Raiders of the Lost Ark! Our nine- and twenty-two-year-old selves just fell in love all over again.

‘Raiders’ came out in 1981. So the person writing this is 51 years old. It’s no wonder this magazine is so cool and hip. This list, composed mostly of the writer naming strange women he’d like to fuck, couldn’t be any creeepier unless it was called 75 Women Whose Hair I’d Like to Stroke Before I Eat Them Because They’re All Godless Whores.

(233) Comments

  1. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 17:58

    Going home…see you later boys and girls..you too senor Peeper.

  2. avatar
    Tuco The Ugly 04/20/2010 18:00

    Buenas noches Senor Twinkie toes.

  3. avatar
    Mike Hunt 04/20/2010 18:00


  4. avatar
    chubby chaser 04/20/2010 18:01

    From the looks of things, I should of never dropped out of Spanish class.

  5. avatar
    Dean Wormer 04/20/2010 18:02

    You are all worthless and weak.

  6. avatar
    Mike Hunt 04/20/2010 18:03

    Hail! Hail!
    The gangs all here!

    What the fuck do we care! What the fuck do we care?

  7. avatar
    Tuco The Ugly 04/20/2010 18:04

    Dean Wormer, that is from that funny movie, what is the name, Animal Crackers?

  8. avatar
    Rokan 04/20/2010 18:05

    I told you guys not to talk to them.

    Are you happy? Now they took over the damn site.

    No one ever listens to me.

  9. avatar
    Tuco The Ugly 04/20/2010 18:05

    Senor Mike, are you 12?
    Why are you not in school?

  10. avatar
    Dean Wormer 04/20/2010 18:08

    The drawer is full of many socks.

  11. avatar
    chubby chaser 04/20/2010 18:12

    Tuco The Ugly, maybe it’s time for his macaroni and cheese?

  12. avatar
    Rokan 04/20/2010 18:13


    Don’t let them bother you. You’re at least interesting. The donkey is always running everyone down over any little thing they say.

    I don’t even like it when he does it to Zombie.

    Just ignore them.

  13. avatar
    Tuco The Ugly 04/20/2010 18:14

    Rice and beens for me tonight. The Abuela is cooking tonight. Good night amigos!

  14. avatar
    Mike Hunt 04/20/2010 18:15

    “Run, run, as fast as you can!
    You can’t catch me!
    I’m the Gingerbread Man!”

    HEEEHAAWWW, Dickweeds!!!!!!!!!!

  15. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 04/20/2010 18:15

    I blame Film Drunk

  16. avatar
    Dean Wormer 04/20/2010 18:17

    I blame the Doctress and Tengo for hooking up, the site went downhill from there.

  17. avatar
    chubby chaser 04/20/2010 18:18

    SomeoneluvsU, what is Film Drunk? .

  18. avatar
    chubby chaser 04/20/2010 18:19

    Dean Wormer , you sound like you are jealous?

  19. avatar
    Rokan 04/20/2010 18:20

    You know Someone, I know nothing about Filmdrunk, except it has some crossover to Durden.
    I just figured some of the regs got bored and started to cause trouble.

  20. avatar
    Joe C 04/20/2010 18:22

    Any set of imbeciles that list Yoko Ono on the Greatest Women of All Time list needs to have their Macbooks rounded up and smashed to bits. Most of their other choices were just as stupid. What a load of crap.

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