oh stfu esquire

By brendon April 20, 2010 @ 5:34 PM


Esquire magazine has come out with their ‘Women We Love’ issue, with fatty Christina Hendricks on the cover as the ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’, and at one point they have a 75 Greatest Women Of All Time list. For Karen Allen (yes, Karen Allen), they write

Animal House! Raiders of the Lost Ark! Our nine- and twenty-two-year-old selves just fell in love all over again.

‘Raiders’ came out in 1981. So the person writing this is 51 years old. It’s no wonder this magazine is so cool and hip. This list, composed mostly of the writer naming strange women he’d like to fuck, couldn’t be any creeepier unless it was called 75 Women Whose Hair I’d Like to Stroke Before I Eat Them Because They’re All Godless Whores.

(233) Comments

  1. avatar
    Mike Hunt 04/20/2010 18:22

    I blame Senor Zombie and his mustache.

  2. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 04/20/2010 18:22

    A magical land of mirth, wit and laughter. Run by a handsome prince.
    It’s like Santa’s work shop at the North Pole, only less real.

  3. avatar
    hawt lunch 04/20/2010 18:22

    hey someone,

    if you were 16 again what would you do to this:


  4. avatar
    Rokan 04/20/2010 18:23


    She need a good worming by a licensed professional.

  5. avatar
    Dean Wormer 04/20/2010 18:24

    Zombie is the man behind the curtain.

  6. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 04/20/2010 18:25

    Fuck Gomez…
    I have my count down calendar set for the Jennette McCurdy playboy spread.

  7. avatar
    Mike Hunt 04/20/2010 18:26


  8. avatar
    Rokan 04/20/2010 18:26

    The Dean’s powers of Observation are keen.

  9. avatar
    chubby chaser 04/20/2010 18:27

    I wish I new what you guys were talking about.
    chubby is Out!

  10. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 04/20/2010 18:28

    These aren’t the droids you are looking for

  11. avatar
    Barbarella 04/20/2010 18:29

    Why is everyone so angry. What did I miss?

  12. avatar
    D. Znuts 04/20/2010 18:32

    Haha, not bad. At least it’s not our daily dose of Kim Kardashian’s Twatter feed.

  13. avatar
    hawt lunch 04/20/2010 18:33


    back in the day I would have given her the best minute and a half hump fest she ever had

    then id go home and jerk off to the thought of geeking on her titties

  14. avatar
    hawt lunch 04/20/2010 18:35

    and dude jennette…..? :/

    girls definitely got a mondo bush

  15. avatar
    Dean Wormer 04/20/2010 18:36

    Barb, the puppets have killed the master and are running amuck

  16. avatar
    Rokan 04/20/2010 18:41

    Barb, Every once in a while shit just hits the fan around here, like the top blows off of the nut-house.

    Today was one of those days.

    But if all the regs didn’t go into the fucking fetal position, we would just talk right over them.

    Bunch of bullshit

    I’m going to dinner.

  17. avatar
    SCUM 04/20/2010 18:41

    I just scrolled through the whole list and Traci Lords wasn’t on it. I call bullshit.

  18. avatar
    Mike Hunt 04/20/2010 18:43

    Let’s all watch the Wookiee cry.
    I’ll show you my penis if it will cheer you up.

  19. avatar
    ohmwrecker 04/20/2010 18:43

    Yoko Ono is great! She broke up the Beatles right before they got shitty.

  20. avatar
    ohmwrecker 04/20/2010 18:44

    If Chrissie Hynde isn’t on there, that list can go fuck itself.

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