tess taylor seems fun

By brendon April 28, 2010 @ 5:51 PM


Tess Taylor is the star of the E! reality show ‘Pretty Wild’. She’s also at the heart of that whole “bling ring” who robbed Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. She’s also the Playboy Cyber Girl of the Year. She’s also incredibly hot, short, and she has DD’s. As you may recall, those are my 3 favorite qualities in a girl, so needless to say I love her very very much.

These candid and very rare pictures of her getting high are under the cut, along with a few of her Playboy pics, and you really should click on every single one. I promise it will be worth it. In fact, one day, as you lay on your deathbed and think back to the time when you saw Tess Taylor naked, it’s entirely possible that you’ll remember this as the greatest day of your life.

(playboy picture source, with way way more of tess = playboy.com)

(240) Comments

  1. avatar
    iwontrememberthis 04/28/2010 17:53

    *slow clap*

  2. avatar
    eness 04/28/2010 17:54


  3. avatar
    Barbarella 04/28/2010 17:56

    She looks squishy…

    DZ, You fall into the tall category for sure… for me anything above 6 foot does.

    Watch out for HPV during your skankness run. It voids the marriage proposal just FYI. Unless you’re claim durden immunity like everyone else. Haha

  4. avatar
    Watt 04/28/2010 17:59

    I think durdenland makes you immune to most common diseases.

    Squishy? does that mean you’d play alice in wonderland and go down her rabbit hole?

  5. avatar
    minimosh 04/28/2010 17:59

    Pretty Wild is a ridiculous show. I was wondering when Durden was going to pick up on her and her sister though, because they’re young, dumb, and attractive….

  6. avatar
    Sensei John Kreese 04/28/2010 17:59

    You motorboatin son of a bitch.

  7. avatar
    Woodsman 04/28/2010 18:00

    Sup: is your box still blue?

  8. avatar
    SCUM 04/28/2010 18:02

    blue box = pissed on.

  9. avatar
    Barbarella 04/28/2010 18:02

    You’re my boy Blue!!!

  10. avatar
    D. Znuts 04/28/2010 18:02

    Fuck yeah, tits + weed, two of my favorite things!

    Barb no worries there, I’m all talk, I’ll end up getting baked and playing video games, sulking on my couch. :P Can’t catch the herp from Halo can ya?

    I used to do the random sluts thing more often but it usually just makes me feel like a dirty manwhore these days. Not saying I won’t do it, I’m not in a position to refuse, but I much prefer it if she knows me well enough to let me videotape it, at least.

  11. avatar
    minimosh 04/28/2010 18:04


    you can always do THIS.

  12. avatar
    D. Znuts 04/28/2010 18:05

    Heh, “blew box”? I think we just made another euphemism for eating at the tuna taco stand. Good work Durds.

  13. avatar
    Barbarella 04/28/2010 18:06

    Scum, I just looked at the big version of your avi and that bitch needs to clean her fingernails. *gag*

  14. avatar
    ohmwrecker 04/28/2010 18:07

    If I didn’t know any better, I would think this girl is trying to seduce me.

  15. avatar
    D. Znuts 04/28/2010 18:10

    Her fingernails lol, you may just be the first person to notice.

    I can’t open that picture full size because I’m at work. I can get away with a certain amount of tittays and such, but a fully spread-eagled vaganus situation might be something I want to avoid.

  16. avatar
    Barbarella 04/28/2010 18:11

    Well I was looking for signs of HPV, but noticed that upon closer investigation.

    I’m at work too..

    We have SO much in common. Haha…

  17. avatar
    ohmwrecker 04/28/2010 18:12

    She has some ideologically confused tattoos.

    And tits . . . big, soft, beautiful tits.

  18. avatar
    minimosh 04/28/2010 18:13

    ew barb you’re right! And she has some serious snail trail on her thong too!

  19. avatar
    Watt 04/28/2010 18:14

    I do not avoid women. But I … I do deny them my essence.

  20. avatar
    D. Znuts 04/28/2010 18:17

    Haha we do, don’t we? I mean we both have jobs. And we both visit WWTDD. Hmm, it’s almost like we were meant for eachother!

    I like chicks, you are a chick! You like tall guys, I am tall! The similarities will never cease!

    I’d like to know what job you have that you can pull up full-size anatomy close-ups though. I could do it here, there is no web blocking crap inhibiting me, but I share an office with a bunch of people and my desk is turned in such a way that one of my co-workers can see my monitor. He is a friend of mine, but if he sees a full-screen flower like that he will burst into laughter and blow my cover.

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