fuck you sean penn

By brendon June 21, 2010 @ 12:42 PM

EXCLUSIVE: Sean Penn Cops Plea In Battery Case (FILE PHOTOS)

The July Vanity Fair has a amazing article about the great Sean Penn, and if you don’t have time to read it, here’s a summary: Sean Penn is the greatest man who ever lived, according to Sean Penn, but he doesn’t do it for awards and he doesn’t want to talk about it, except for all the times when he accepts awards and does interviews to talk about it.

For the past five months, Penn’s home base has been the sprawling tent city set up on the former Pétionville country club. (He has left only for a short fund-raising swing, to attend the Oscars in March, and to testify about Haiti on Capitol Hill in May.)

And it’s true. Here he is May 19th on Capitol Hill. And then it was back to Haiti. Wait no then it was off to LA. This is him at LAX 8 days later. Here he is accepting an award in DC in March 11. The Oscars in LA on March 8 here. Receiving a Haiti award in Beverly Hills on February 16 here. Leaving Larry King the night before in LA here. LAX three days before that here. Another awards show in January here.

If you went somewhere 5 months ago and then went back, I don’t think that should count the same as being somewhere for 5 months. I haven’t been at Whole Foods for 5 months, for example, but I was there for a while in February, and then again this weekend. So really I only go there occasionally. Back in March someone told me Penn only stays in Haiti for a few days at a time, and then he flies back to Miami to relax. I guess it’s possible I don’t know what “only” means. I thought it meant something else.

This is the same kind of shit he pulled when he lied his ass off about helping after Katrina (more on that here). By a shocking coincidence, the same person who wrote the Vanity Fair article is the only person to witness his heroic rescues in New Orleans as well. For some reason, perhaps magic, there’s never any witnesses to his tales of daring adventure.

It’s possible of course that he’s personally doing great things in Haiti and has only the best of intentions, but he lies so god damn much it’s hard to believe him. Also Sean Penn has been a complete pussy for 40 years, and people don’t generally stop being assholes overnight. In summation, Sean Penn can go fuck himself. The End.

wwtdd

(22) Comments

  1. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 06/21/2010 12:45

    If I’m here and you’re here, doesn’t that make it OUR TIME?

  2. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 06/21/2010 12:45

    which is it…is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?

  3. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 06/21/2010 12:47

    Brendumb….you suck!

  4. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 06/21/2010 12:47

    He’ll always be S.picoli to me!

  5. avatar
    Rokan 06/21/2010 12:47

    Hey,
    That chick on the bike has no top on!

  6. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 06/21/2010 12:48

    apparently you can’t say S P I C
    FYI: Blocking words that you feel are racist IS IN FACT….Racist!

  7. avatar
    Rokan 06/21/2010 12:48

    Mac,
    How many times did you write Sp1coli before you figured out Brendumbs filter?

  8. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 06/21/2010 12:49

    I think that’s a dood Rokan…..Unless that chick has nasty sideburns!

  9. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 06/21/2010 12:50

    just once

  10. avatar
    SALAJ 06/21/2010 12:51

    My friend told me a nice place http://www.MeetSuccessful.com . He said it’s a place where successful men and women reside in the hopes of finding love.

  11. avatar
    Prosty_TOOT 06/21/2010 12:51

    i don’t give a fuck about shaun penn! look at how goddam wordy that shit is … i don’t want to read all that shit keep it to the point B!

  12. avatar
    MrAdams 06/21/2010 12:51

    Great! From Miley’s beaver to Sean Penn. From one pussy to another. Nice segue.

  13. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 06/21/2010 12:52

    My friend told me about a nice place http://www.SalajTossesBrendumbsSaladForFreeMarketing.com

  14. avatar
    Rokan 06/21/2010 12:52

    Ah . . . . I didn’t notice the sideburns. I imagine there are a pair of balls and an Adam’s apple to go along with them

  15. avatar
    Conrad! 06/21/2010 12:57

    If his dad Arthur were alive today he’d most likely be embarrassed as hell.

  16. avatar
    MrAdams 06/21/2010 12:59

    If it was Los Angeles, there may not be a pair of balls. It could be one of the L.A. Justice Dept.

  17. avatar
    Rokan 06/21/2010 13:04

    Conrad,
    My dad’s name isn’t Arthur, but my mom said basically the same thing to me yesterday.

  18. avatar
    SCUM 06/21/2010 13:10

    From a whore to a bore, is Larry GayGa next? Because she is a snore.

  19. avatar
    juanhenry 06/21/2010 13:19

    Sean Penn needs to take a nice regular sh!t; then, maybe, his puss will loosen up along with his zany, saving the world antics…or maybe he needs to get laid (you hear this Hugo Chavez? give yer boy a little ass every now and again or maybe a handjob, at least)

  20. avatar
    Rokan 06/21/2010 13:19

    Scum,

    Your chick kind of looks like Silk Spectre.

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