mariah carey is pregnant

One time my girlfriend and I had a new puppy and he was black with white patches and we were trying to think of a name and she said “what’s black and white and fat” and I said “Mariah Carey”. That’s not a great story or anything but I need to fill these first few lines with some kind of an intro. Anyway, fatty is pregnant now (Mariah, not the dog).

Now a source close to Mariah and husband Nick Cannon tells Radar Online the couple — who renewed their vows to celebrate their second anniversary in May — are expecting their first child.
“They’re both very excited and very happy,” dished our insider.
When contacted, Mariah’s longtime rep Cindi Berger gave Radar Online a rather cryptic comment.
“I’m not at liberty to discuss Mariah’s personal life at this time,” the publicist told Radar, a statement that did not outwardly deny the pregnancy.
Said our insider: “Mariah and Nick want to keep the pregnancy quiet as long as they can.”

Mariah once had an assistant at a press conference hold a glass of water with a straw to her lips so she wouldn’t have to bend over for herself (more). She had two assistants carry her around a video set so she wouldn’t ruin her dress (more). She demanded 20 white kittens and 100 white doves for an appearance at a Christmas event (more). She had her limo driver circle a hotel in London until they put out a red carpet lined with white candles because she refused to walk on pavement (more).

My point is that Mariah is insane (although generally considered really nice in person, oddly enough) so it will be awesome to watch her go through this. She doesn’t do anything for herself, now she has to do one of the hardest things imaginable. She’s as prepared for this as she is to survive in the woods on some kind of Bear Grylls type challenge. You might as well tell her to disarm a bomb.