megan fox. in a bikini.

Megan Fox and her boyfriend were in Hawaii this weekend, and I’m pretty sure these are the first Megan Fox bikini pictures ever. Well not “ever” but the first candids since she became a big star.

And despite regular rumors that she and whats his name are splitting up, they look pretty happy here. She could date someone richer but I guess she likes this dork. Or maybe she just likes the security of a long term relationship. Girls like that. They like to feel safe. Guys should take advantage of that. Next time you see a hot girl, wait until you’re alone, like in an elevator or something, and then say, “God has sent me to protect you.” Girls also like secrets, so after that put your finger over her lips and go, “Shhhhhh.”

I haven’t tried it yet but I feel like that would work.