law expert lindsay “has seen ‘chicago’ several times”

By brendon July 12, 2010 @ 6:06 PM

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There’s no doubt that Lindsay Lohan is dumb enough to be declared legally dead and completely out of touch with reality, the only question is to what extent. This “insider” (aka either Dina or Ali bc Lindsay has no friends) should help clear that up.

“Lindsay has no intention of going to jail. The only thing that Lindsay did wrong was hire the wrong attorney and now she has fixed that.”
“She is paying her new lawyer a fortune to fix this mess. She doesn’t care what it takes. If Lindsay needs to start a Facebook campaign or set up protests or something like that she is totally into it. They are treating Lindsay differently because she is a star, so it’s about time she used her star power to help her. She’s seen the movie ‘Chicago’ several times, so it’s not like she doesn’t know how this sort of thing works!

First of all, Lindsay is around 2 million dollars in debt, so she’s not paying anyone to do anything. Second of all, Facebook has no legislative power so God only knows what she thinks a fan page will do. Third, everyone hates her so even if Facebook could pardon people no one would sign it. Fourth, are you god damn kidding me. ‘Chicago’? God this bitch is dumb as a rock. Still not convinced? Remember that part again about how the new attorney is gonna fix all this and keep her out of jail. Well here’s what he had to say…

“I’m concerned that she’s not disciplined or tethered enough to the reality of adult consequences. She doesn’t seem to have the awareness of what’s going to befall her … (she doesn’t) seem to understand the urgency and gravity of the situation.”

Is he hinting that Lindsay might go to jail? If so I think someone needs to go watch ‘Chicago’ some more, until he understands how things work. Lindsay has seen it several times. She’s done her homework. Maybe he can subpoena that youtube video of the kid coming back from the dentist too to prove she wasn’t high. Then address her unfair treatment and cite the case of LOL Cat vs. Cheeseburger.

wwtdd

(96) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 07/12/2010 18:16

    It’s only a matter of time before she’s found dead of an overdose, anyway.

  2. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 07/12/2010 18:34

    I agree^^…and I have been hoping so for years!

  3. avatar
    Rokan 07/12/2010 18:39

    Blumpkin

  4. avatar
    Dingo Hunter 07/12/2010 18:45

    That’s why she wrote “Fuck You” on her finger nails ! Nice :)

  5. avatar
    HoboNutsACk 07/12/2010 18:52

    If it was possible to die from stupidity she would have checked out years ago……

  6. avatar
    Olaf Metal 07/12/2010 18:52

    Maybe she wrote on her fingernail because she wasn’t sure which one goes in her anus while she’s copulating with an axe handle ?

  7. avatar
    AncoBluzea 07/12/2010 18:53

    i just want to party with her and that italian jimmy falco / rosanna dana dana duo

  8. avatar
    HoboNutsACk 07/12/2010 18:54

    Man I would pay money to watch her weeping and sobbing uncontrollably as she’s booked into jail and strip searched…..oh the humiliation, shame and suffering…makes me smile!

  9. avatar
    Olaf Metal 07/12/2010 18:54

    Dina’s been quiet through all this ? Hmmmm

  10. avatar
    SCUM 07/12/2010 19:06

    HAIL SATAN.

  11. avatar
    Porchmonkey4life 07/12/2010 19:11

    Not a day goes by without a Lilo post. She should have kids with Mel Gibson! They would be fucking crazy as all hell and entertaining!

  12. avatar
    MrAdams 07/12/2010 19:14

    I smell an Insanity Plea in the air. “Lindsay must have been insane to hire me as her lawyer” type of thing. In California, this stuff does work.

  13. avatar
    Rokan 07/12/2010 19:14

    Hobo,

    So you think their going to tape the strip search?

    Man, I would love to get a crack at checking her for worms.

    I’d have to double glove of course.

  14. avatar
    Soup Sandwich 07/12/2010 19:14

    I think I need to try in short order to fuck her before she dies just to say that I did. I’m pretty sure I could convince her to as well, provided that after coming to I make her believe it was consensual.

  15. avatar
    Woodsman 07/12/2010 19:45

    Lindsay goes to New York to meet with a guy who says he can sneak her out of the country by stowing away on his ship. She agrees to the plan and he sneaks her on the ship late at night. After a few days of this arrangement, the Captain of the ship notices his crewman bringing a food tray and passing it under the canvas covering a lifeboat. The crewman then climbs under the canvas and emerges 20 minutes later wearing a huge smile.

    The Captain goes down to the lifeboat and discovers LiLo. He demands an explanation and LiLo tells him about the crewman and his helpful offer. The Captain asks “What is he getting out of this?” Lilo pauses and admits “Well, he’s screwing me”. The Captain replies, “I’ll say! This is the Staten Island ferry”.

  16. avatar
    Chicagoaniml 07/12/2010 19:52

    Brandy got a boner when FaceBook was mentioned

  17. avatar
    Nighthawk 07/12/2010 19:56

    I’m not sure this case could get more ridiculous if it a piece of fiction. I’m nearly positive Lilo is nuts. The way to get her to go to jail quietly is to tell her it’s the set of her new prison/lesbo movie. She’d want to drive the bus there.

  18. avatar
    MrAdams 07/12/2010 20:03

    Nice one, Woodsman.

  19. avatar
    Rokan 07/12/2010 20:23

    I’m so bored I can’t even bring myself to jack off tongiht.

  20. avatar
    Rokan 07/12/2010 20:27

    I will however cook a steak, baked potato, corn on the cob, smoke a bowl and take a darvocet while I watch the Home Run Derby.

    So, I have that going for me . . . . .

    Which is nice.

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