lindsay lohan got punched in the face!

Lindsay Lohan, who by all accounts is a sweet little angel, went on her twitter around 2am because people are always mean to her for no reason. And if her description of the event wasn’t awesome bad enough, Us magazine goes into shocking detail…

“The waitress has a history with Doug Reinhardt, and Lohan was hanging out with him. She was jealous, and out of nowhere, the waitress punched her in the face!” the insider tells Us. “Doug didn’t want any part of it and went to the other side of the booth. Lohan ran out.
The night didn’t get better from there.
Lohan went to a party at the nearby Rockstar House — and ran into the waitress again!
“Lohan showed up and cried because the waitress was there as well,” says another source.

For the record, I didn’t add the exclamation points after the part about Lindsay getting punched in the face or the waitress coming back for more, but I would have, because that’s how it felt in my heart when I read it. I literally squealed with delight.