lindsay lohan is gonna get strip searched

By brendon July 20, 2010 @ 11:09 AM


After today, everyone will get a long and well deserved break from Lindsay Lohan. Unfortunately today has only just begun, but at least Good Morning America got things started with a sexy interview. Apparently one of the very first things that will happen to Lindsay today is that the cops will take her on an erotic adventure.

“When you get strip searched it takes away a lot of dignity. You are not in a room by yourself.”

The only ones who are gonna lose any dignity are the cops when Lindsay gets turned on, licks her fingers, runs her hands between her legs and says something about her “honey pot”. Oh god today is gonna suck. Here’s a little recap of all the other crap from the past 12 hours…

- Us magazine says Lindsay checked out of Pickford Lofts (the rehab facility run by Shapiro) around 3:30 this morning with her mom and Samantha Ronson.

- After that Lindsay went on twitter and wrote her typical rambling nonsense. “the only ‘bookings’ that i’m familiar with are Disney Films, never thought that i’d be ‘booking’ into Jail… Eeeks”. She hasn’t filmed a movie for Disney since 2004, but whatever.

- While in jail, ABC says Lindsay will be, “sporting the jail-standard orange jumpsuit and sleep on a vinyl mattress in a 12X8 foot cell. For her own protection, she will be isolated from other inmates.” A lawyer tells them, “It’s not going to be the worst situation imaginable, far from it. It’s just going to be boring basically.”

- TMZ adds that Lindsay could be alone in her cell, “as much as 20 hours per day. She will be allowed to exercise three times per week. As far as her diet, we’re told Lindsay will get two cold meals and one hot meal every day.” They also say she will only get to shower every other day.

- Though sentenced to 90 days, Lindsay will likely serve more like 22. The LA Times says, “women sent to jail for nonviolent crimes generally serve 25% or less of their sentence due to overcrowding.”

- TMZ says, “Lindsay is furious at (Robert) Shapiro, feeling as if he totally used her to get publicity for his sober living house. She believes that is the only reason he agreed to rep her and sold her a bill of goods.”

(21) Comments

  1. avatar
    p e p p e r 07/20/2010 11:11

    Make sure you have a camera …you bastards…..

  2. avatar
    RedRage 07/20/2010 11:11

    I’m guessing she is going to be strip searched at least three times a day for the next 90.

  3. avatar
    Zombie 07/20/2010 11:12

    She’s actually pretty hot in the banner pic.

  4. avatar
    MrAdams 07/20/2010 11:16

    Shouldn’t they call it a “fist-search”? Just asking…

  5. avatar
    RedRage 07/20/2010 11:17

    Z, I didn’t know you’re a new Dad! Handsome little man, congratulations!

  6. avatar
    The Original Lo Rider 07/20/2010 11:21

    I saw a report on AP News that Lindsey will likely spend no more than 90 minutes in jail. I gotta get famous and break the law in CA.

  7. avatar
    Observer 07/20/2010 11:21

    I wonder if she still has a fire-crotch?

  8. avatar
    rokan 07/20/2010 11:23

    Why did they tie her up in that golf cart? And what’s with the tree-stump interior?

  9. avatar
    Observer 07/20/2010 11:24

    She will feign a fainting spell and be transferred to the secure wing of a near-by hospital……..

    …where they will , of course, conduct a full gynaecological exam….

    …I hope she comes twice…….

  10. avatar
    Watt 07/20/2010 11:24

    Kill it with fire!

  11. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 07/20/2010 11:25

    CNN has live coverage of the Lohan “Motorcade”
    Why can’t they just yell “book-em Dan-o” and toss her in the back of a squad car?

  12. avatar
    Zombie 07/20/2010 11:28

    Check out the fucking “rehab facility” this bitch was staying in. A far cry from the county jail.



    RedRage, all kidding aside, that is Pepper and his new baby.

  13. avatar
    RedRage 07/20/2010 11:31

    Ahahahahahahahaha! Holy shit Z, I just noticed you peeking out from behind the tree. Coffee on monitor! Pepper, you must be very proud. Can he dunk yet?

  14. avatar
    RemSteale 07/20/2010 11:33

    “Each loft contains a large living room with flat screen HD cable and DVD player…wireless high speed internet access”.

    Place is nicer than most Hilton suites

  15. avatar
    RedRage 07/20/2010 11:36

    Rem, I bought a copy of Nuts magazine for the plane ride home. The old lady beside me didn’t seem as much fan of it as I am.

  16. avatar
    rokan 07/20/2010 11:36

    New up. Lilo TV.

  17. avatar
    RemSteale 07/20/2010 11:39

    Nuts is cool.

    This months has an article about sexy lesbian cpr, I can see how your plane neighbour had issues.

  18. avatar
    Chicagoaniml 07/20/2010 11:46

    If your tired of talking about her then why all these poss on her? Your not a news site…no one take the news you post seriously when your refs are Enquirir

  19. avatar
    AlabasterCockmaster 07/20/2010 11:58

    Please let her hang herself with the prison socks.

  20. avatar
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