the Other Guys

……………………………. SPONSORED POST ……………………………

In ‘The Other Guys’, Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are average NYPD cops who have to step up and fill in for supercops Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson. It’s a daunting challenge, one it turns out they’re not prepared to handle, because Johnson and Jackson are way better than they are.

That’s why you should always set the bar nice and low. Don’t aim high in life. It’s too hard and it takes forever. Unless you’re Tony Stark don’t even bother to ask out Bar Rafaeli, because you’d be replacing Leonardo DiCaprio, and he’s way better than you. I’d rather find a celebrity who dates guys who are beneath her. Because I am too and otherwise I’d have no chance.

Marisa Miller
The worlds hottest supermodel and she’s been married to this doofus for 4 years. Griffin Guess.
PRO: Even Griffin Guess has never heard of Griffin Guess.
CON: Might not take the hint. Might not leave. It’s 2010 and he still wears a fauxhawk. You can’t hurt someones pride if they don’t have any.

Vanessa Minnillo
Still only 29, still looks great and she’s dated Nick Lachey for the past 4 years.
PRO: He has to be broke by now. For 100 dollars he’d probably box a kangaroo at the state fair. Even better, in 2006, Jessica Simpson reportedly said he was so small she could barley feel anything during sex. After 4 years Vanessa has probably sealed back up. She’s gonna look and feel brand new, there won’t be a scratch on her.
CON: Nothing. Not one. The only test this tubby loser could beat me in is a water displacement one.