Having DDD implants is literally the one and only thing that makes Heidi Montag interesting in any way. Before she got those I banned her from the site (two weeks before E! did the same). But huge breasts makes girls more tolerable, so now she’s back. For now.
Heidi Montag sat down exclusively with Life & Style to tell-all about her plastic surgery regrets, revealing that she wants her outrageous G implants removed.
“I’m desperate to go back to normal. I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D.”
More than nine months after she went under the knife on Nov. 20, Heidi says she is still in severe pain and her body has not gotten used to the over the top boob job. “I have major anxiety about it. I was taking painkillers but they weren’t working so I stopped. It hurt either way,”
Besides being unable to hug her four dogs or wear anything but custom-made clothing, “I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs,” she says. “It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life.”
And while Heidi is currently shopping for a surgeon in South America, she worries that she’ll be trapped in this cartoonish body forever. “I feel trapped in my own body.”
So, to recap, Heidi, who doesn’t speak Spanish, is looking for a plastic surgeon in South America, whose leading exports are drugs, drugs, shortstops, drugs, kids who can chase a chicken down the street, and drugs.
Even if I wasn’t incredibly racist, this would be a terrible idea. She’s a Nordic-looking princess with huge tits, and she wants to take her clothes off and get drugged. The white slavery rings are gonna think it’s Christmas morning.
(image source of heidi on the set of the adam sandler movie ‘just go with it’ back in march = splash and pcn)
Further proud this dumb cunt needs too die.
I thes ban reissued if she down grades?
Yes, because if I needed someone to slice open my chest, I know I’d look to South America.
If she gets her implants removed, can I have one?
Fisters of fisting fist
incoming pack of wild ñiggers.
Heidi’s “doctor”: “Quiere que vete a la mierda en el culo niña blanca ?”
Heidi: “Si! Si!”
“Doctor”: “Difunde las mejillas, nos vamos para romper el marco”
She should check out Peru’s Craiglist
If her brains were made of C4 she wouldnt have enough to blow a hat off her head
Goddamnit. We better at least get a topless picture before she gets rid of those things.
And South America? Has anyone told her ANYTHING about that continent?!
Wtf.
Why the hell is she looking in South America, arent there enough plastic surgeons in North America??
Don’t make it sound like E! Copied your banning of Heidi rule. They probably stuck with it longer then you did! You pistes pic of her a few times during your “ban.”
I hear Kanye West knows a good surgeon in the US.
Surgery south of the border, what could go wrong?
Ha, ha, yeah he has a lot of experience with breast implants
I hate the new writer. What do you think of him, Zombie? Since you’re close with him et stuff.
Good call Z!
I think its hilarious that clown tits refers to D and DD as “smaller”
With her addiction to surgery, I give her 6 months before she starts camping out at Neverland.
South and Central American exports ALSO include leaf raking and lawn mowing guys……
Dirty George A. Romero……
…I LOVE your birthday party avatar……