Indiana Jones 5 is on the way. For some reason.

By brendon August 20, 2010 @ 3:54 PM


Oh holy shit are we really doing this. JoBlo says…

Star Shia LaBeouf says they’ve already got a storyline mapped out for the potential project.
Says LaBeouf, “I got called into Steven’s office and he pitched a little bit to me and it sounds crazy, it sounds really cool.”
LaBeouf refused to elaborate on what the pitch for INDIANA JONES 5 involved but he added that “they’re writing the script right now.”

Well at least George Lucas hasn’t been mentioned yet. He was famously intrusive when making Indiana Jones 4, the result of which was a complete piece of shit.

Everyone pretty much agrees that the whole “Star Wars” thing was a fluke for Lucas. “Empire Strikes Back” is the only great one, and that’s the only one he didn’t write or direct, and the one he calls the worst of the six movies.

The first one was good, the second one was amazing, and the rest make no sense whatsoever. Most of “Return of the Jedi” is spent trying to disable a satellite dish on Endor that provides the force field for the new Death Star, but the god damn thing is right there, sticking up out of the trees. Just shoot it! You don’t even need radar, they don’t even hide it you can see it, just shoo-NO! NOOO, don’t send Luke, Han and Leia to shut it down by hand! That’s like you’re top three people! JESUS CHRIST, YOU HAVE LIKE 8 MILLION SPACESHIPS, IT’S THE NUMBER ONE THING YOU’RE GOOD AT, AND THAT DISH IS 40 STORIES HIGH, JUST SHOOT IT! I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU BLOW IT UP IT WILL STOP WORKING!

(51) Comments

  1. avatar
    The Original Lo Rider 08/20/2010 15:54

    Zzzzzombie – New date movie for you.

  2. avatar
    The Original Lo Rider 08/20/2010 15:56

    Funny that they “already have a sotryline mapped out”. That would’ve been a nice bonus for the last movie.

    Co-starring Angelina Jolie as “Naked Warrior Princess”

  3. avatar
    The Original Lo Rider 08/20/2010 15:57

    *storyline – dammit. I was giddy with “first two posts” euphoria

  4. avatar
    SCUM 08/20/2010 15:57

    If it’s not in 3-D I don’t care.

  5. avatar
    The Original Lo Rider 08/20/2010 15:58

    We’re closing in on a full day with no noticeable knob photos. Shitty fucking day.

  6. avatar
    rokan 08/20/2010 15:58

    No shit.
    I just said Hi to Shia Labeouf at Popeye’s chicken in Chicago on Tuesday.

    They are filming Transformers 3 on my block.

    Guess we both like ninja food.

  7. avatar
    Ass Tagger Reloaded 08/20/2010 15:59

    I loved the Star Wars rant. lol

  8. avatar
    leftnutofjesus 08/20/2010 16:02

    I’ve never seen one Star Wars movie. Never plan to. Fuck fantasy/sci fi. Unless I got some acid, I don’t give a fuck about watching anything like that.

  9. avatar
    Watt 08/20/2010 16:03

    shitty ledouche needs to be hit by a car full of aids

  10. avatar
    rokan 08/20/2010 16:03

    What the fuck is Star Wars?

  11. avatar
    Zombie 08/20/2010 16:06

    Lo Rider, I take dates to a movie once every few months if that… but I’m sure I’ll be hearing you fuckbrains yap about this one until at least 2011. It’s just so comical!

  12. avatar
    rokan 08/20/2010 16:06

    I think you would have found him charming. He was all dirty and had fake blood on his head, but his hair was perfect.

    I hear he is going to be in the new season of Glee.

  13. avatar
    leftnutofjesus 08/20/2010 16:10

    Indiana Jones shitting his diaper while he puffs on a Kent light 100 outside of a nursing home doesn’t sound like a theater-filler.

  14. avatar
    leftnutofjesus 08/20/2010 16:11

    And who the fuck is shia lebouf? Sounds like a camel fucker.

  15. avatar
    Zombie 08/20/2010 16:11

    Rokan you know what’s fun? When you take a raunchy shit and it leaves a skid mark in the toilet bowl, then you come back later to piss and aim your urine stream at that skid mark trying to break it off before your bladder is empty. You know what I’m talking about.

  16. avatar
    rokan 08/20/2010 16:13

    I’m with Zombie on this one.

  17. avatar
    Watt 08/20/2010 16:17

    It can’t be as bad as that abortion of a film the ewok adventure

  18. avatar
    minimosh 08/20/2010 16:19

    I just saw the first star wars movies a few months ago for the first time. But it was the dvd versions when they added in the computer graphics. I did not approve.

  19. avatar
    leftnutofjesus 08/20/2010 16:20

    that’s called pressure washing at my place.

  20. avatar
    ohmwrecker 08/20/2010 16:21

    All the good ideas in George Lucas’ brain leaked into his neck and turned to fat.

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