Tuesday morning headlines

By brendon August 17, 2010 @ 12:05 PM

britney_spears_shorts

MICHAEL DOUGLAS – has throat cancer, and is about to start 8 weeks of chemo. And since if he dies, Catherine Zeta Jones will be rich and single, his treatment isn’t gonna go so well if you catch my drift. (the sun)

LAURENCE FISHBURNE – has spoken to his daughter Montana for the first time since she announced she’s going into porn, but it was only to tell her he isn’t speaking to her until she gets out of porn. Luckily for him there are a lot of girls out there named “Montana Fishburne”. I bet most of his friends haven’t even made the connection. (popeater)

JESSICA SIMPSON – says she wishes she had a bigger ass and smaller tits. In other words, unemployed and anonymous. (huff post)

BRITNEY SPEARS – looked great on her way to Westlake studios in LA yesterday, which means today she’ll look like complete hell again. It’s a little game she plays. (x17)

wwtdd

(47) Comments

  1. avatar
    Zombie 08/17/2010 12:13

    Can’t see me, fools!

  2. avatar
    Watt 08/17/2010 12:16

    Meh meh meh and meh

  3. avatar
    Heisenberg 08/17/2010 12:17

    I’m not speaking to Montana Fishburne either until she gets whatever that is on her ass looked at, that shit might be contagious.

  4. avatar
    Chicagoaniml 08/17/2010 12:18

    TMZs Tuesday Morning Headlines is more like it.

  5. avatar
    ohmwrecker 08/17/2010 12:19

    She looks good enough to abduct.

  6. avatar
    ohmwrecker 08/17/2010 12:20

    Jessica Simpson is half right.

  7. avatar
    MrAdams 08/17/2010 12:28

    “Montana Fishburne” is an old Native American phrase that loosely translates to: If you stick your cock in the place that smells of fish, it will soon burn like a volcano.

  8. avatar
    Watt 08/17/2010 12:39

    Adams +3

  9. avatar
    A Dirty George A. Romero Love Pillow 08/17/2010 12:57

    I can hear the ‘tick,tick,tick’ as we near this peak in the rollercoaster.

  10. avatar
    SsnakeOil 08/17/2010 12:59

    Britney’s wearing a bra! Stop the presses!

    And what happened to the Denise Richards post?

  11. avatar
    RedRage 08/17/2010 13:08

    Must be halftime in the starring contest between her nipples and her feet. I want to bugger her shitter.

  12. avatar
    Zombie 08/17/2010 13:11

    Ah I have a clone now? Haha. Knock yourself out.

  13. avatar
    rokan 08/17/2010 13:13

    I’m a nihilist. I believe in nothing

  14. avatar
    RedRage 08/17/2010 13:15

    Z, it must be a slow day on the presses.

  15. avatar
    rokan 08/17/2010 13:21

    Sup, RedRage.

    How’s Mom?

  16. avatar
    SCUM 08/17/2010 13:23

    I like tits.

  17. avatar
    Zombie 08/17/2010 13:25

    RedRage, just an obsessed clown exercising his pent up animosity. If you’ll notice George Romero saved a picture I posted almost 2 years ago, made a poor excuse of a gif with it (which he wasn’t even smart enough to upload as an animated avi), and now has resorted to cloning my name in hopes of pretending to be me. As I said last week I am better than everyone else, and people hate what they can’t be. Romero is a daily dose of proof to back that up. Even his user name has “I want to suck Zombie’s cock” written all over it. Pity the peasant.

  18. avatar
    rokan 08/17/2010 13:30

    Doritos are delicious!

  19. avatar
    RedRage 08/17/2010 13:31

    Hey Rokan, Mom is doing well. She said to day hello. I stole a pair of her panties for you. The crotch looks like the head on a pint of Guinness.

    Z, who is George Romero? Must be nice to be loved!

    Watt, way to go bro! You’re failure to find female company has brought the great state of Utah the ultimate prize!

    http://leenks.com/link295515.html

  20. avatar
    RedRage 08/17/2010 13:31

    *say….

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