Jennifer Lopez is the new ‘Idol’ judge, a complete bitch

By brendon September 15, 2010 @ 2:00 PM

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Jennifer Lopez is a mean selfish cunt and everyone hates her, so when reports claimed her insane demands made it impossible for ‘American Idol’ to sign her as a judge this season, they seemed extremely believable.

After all it was only 7 months ago that Sony records dropped her for the same reason. Because dealing with her pissy attitude wasn’t worth it now that no one buys her records.

But then yesterday, TMZ said, “someone is trying to sabotage ‘American Idol’ by dragging Jennifer Lopez through the mud.” They said those stories were lies, planted by her enemies. Lopez is a delightful woman it seems, and nothing at all like Oh wait never mind she still sucks….

“(American Idol is) taking all the attention of what a nightmare J.Lo is to work with…”
“Of all the people I have ever worked with, no one was more difficult than Jennifer,” a magazine editor tells (Popeater). “When we shot her for a cover, her list of demands were crazy. She needed an all white room scented with Jo Malone candles. She insisted on having a banquet of food — that she never touched — and even had the nerve to ask for a specific type of private plane.”

Nonetheless, yesterday she signed a one year contract for $12,000,000.

So if you ever want to know why most movies and TV sucks, there you go. Because Hollywood is run by retards. No one likes her, she can’t sing, she’s not smart or funny, she adds nothing but pandemonium to a live TV show. They might as well have hired a hundred wild pigs, set their tails on fire and just turned them loose on stage.

wwtdd

(19) Comments

  1. avatar
    Woodsman 09/15/2010 14:02

    $12mm? f*ck me

  2. avatar
    Zombie 09/15/2010 14:03

    I would like to sweep her leg then put her in a figure four lock.

  3. avatar
    Slaappy 09/15/2010 14:05

    12 Million a year and the bat shit crazy comes out to play…

  4. avatar
    SCUM 09/15/2010 14:19

    Meanwhile Snookie only makes $30,000 per episode.

  5. avatar
    Gildorg 09/15/2010 14:22

    Just doesn’t seem fair… Can we have more of Heidi’s Boobs?

  6. avatar
    Woodsman 09/15/2010 14:22

    Z: why not the Boston crab? With her giant trunk it would be fatal.

    SCUM: please remember to put “only” in quotes.

  7. avatar
    CrappyCar 09/15/2010 14:23

    I can spew meaningless gibberish for $12mil a year.

  8. avatar
    Tom Foolery 09/15/2010 14:25

    No wonder the sand n*ggers hate us. Barb accidents happen and I’m sure spunk can’t feel good on the eyes. Z seen the commercial but never the game, haven’t played Halo since Halo 2.

  9. avatar
    SCUM 09/15/2010 14:25

    “only”

  10. avatar
    minimosh 09/15/2010 14:28

    it sounds like Barb has experience with flubber spunk.

  11. avatar
    Chicagoaniml 09/15/2010 14:43

    I’d still bang her

  12. avatar
    Woodsman 09/15/2010 14:52

    SCUM: “thank you”
    mini: +1
    Chicago: yes, but you would feel dirty for having done so

    OK, that’s my time. Airport calls. Adios, villains.

  13. avatar
    Watt 09/15/2010 15:06

    In other news an extra wide chair is being constructed top hold her fat ass

  14. avatar
    Watt 09/15/2010 15:10

    If I made that kind of money…

    I’d put it in my 401 k so I can retire early.

  15. avatar
    minimosh 09/15/2010 15:43

    if I made that kind of money I would be one fancy bitch.

  16. avatar
    NautiusMaximus08 09/15/2010 15:44

    those 2 (AI/JL) deserve each other

    (I’d still bang her too)

  17. avatar
    i hate you 09/15/2010 17:12

    J BLOWs

  18. avatar
    lep 09/16/2010 01:59

    Now that I want to see…a hundred wild pigs on stage would be hilarious!

  19. avatar
    Observer 09/16/2010 19:02

    Mini-Mosh is fucking hilarious lately…

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