UPDATE – Lindsay is going back to rehab, NO JAIL TIME

8:08am – Lindsay Lohan was nice and early for court this morning, arriving at 8:03am for her 8:30am appearance before Judge Elden Fox for violating probation. She could be sentenced to up to one year in jail today, but that’s unlikely. What is very likely is my boredom/disappointment.

8:20am – E! says Lindsay is very likely to go back to jail today. “Judge Elden Fox refused to meet with (Lohans attorney) Shawn Chapman Holley in the run-up to the hearing and is expected to hand down today’s sentence with a very heavy hand.” And then the pussy sheriff will let her right back out. Just leave the car running Dina.

8:30am – this should begin any second. Glad I’m not the judge. One look at those tits of hers and I’d let her right back out. My city would be lawless but very busty.

8:40am – Lindsay is seated in court, waiting for the judge. No cameras in the courtroom today.

8:48am – Lohans attorney is privately meeting with the judge in chambers, and just before she went in, she nodded at Lindsay, then made the “blowjob” sign where she has her hand up by her mouth and pushes her tongue against the inside of her mouth. What a lawyer!

9:02am – zzzzzzzz, zzzzzzzzzz.

9:14am – Lindsays attorney is out of chambers, and Lindsay reportedly looks “relieved” now, and was even seen showing her platform heels to her mom. Fantastic.

9:26am – watching raw feed from the networks, it sounds like Lindsay is going back to rehab. No jail.

9:29am – she is going back to Betty Ford until January 3rd. NO FUCKING JAIL TIME. At all. Prosecutors were asking for the full 180 days of jail time for violating her probation, the judge said he would give her 30 days for each violation, instead HE GAVE HER NONE. NOT ONE FUCKING DAY IN JAIL.

10:01am – Unfuckingbelievable. Among other things, here’s what Lindsays attorney said before sentencing…

“Relapse is a part of recovery, she Is here today with her counselor from Betty Ford, I would ask the court to not punish her, she is trying her best, she would like to remain in Betty Ford and continue her treatment.”

And this is what the Judge said…

“Let me be clear I’m going to do exactly what the DA wants if you violate the program in any way, if you leave the program early, and if you test positive.”

And yes, that’s the same thing he told her last time too. And it’s what the judge before this told her. And the judge before that. And now he’s just gonna sit there. I don’t give a fuck if she gets off drugs, she broke the fucking law, again and again. “He who spares the wicked injures the good.” Do you know who said that? Well I don’t because I don’t read books, but it sounds like someone smart.