KIm Kardashian is dating some new guy

By brendon December 07, 2010 @ 4:52 PM


Kim Kardashian has of course been dating Halle Berrys ex Gabriel Aubry lately, even though she’s obviously pregnant with Kanye Wests baby, but now she’s reportedly ended things with Aubry and has moved on to some NBA player that I’ve never heard of because the NBA sucks.

Life and Style says…

“Kim feels like Gabriel was just using her for her fame,” an insider close to Kim tells Life & Style. Plus, Gabriel, 34, “is older than Kim is looking for,” says the insider. “So she’s decided to stop seeing him.”
Kim’s not wasting any time on regrets she has already started dating Kris Humphries, a 25-year-old basketball player for the New Jersey Nets.
“Kim likes him much more than Gabriel,” says the insider to Life & Style. “He’s normal, so much fun and cute. He’s perfect for what Kim wants right now, which is some fun dates and some fun times.” And of course he’s an athlete, continuing Kim’s pattern of falling for jocks.

But the shocking twists and turns don’t stop there, wait until you hear this: Kris Humphries is white. Bam! How you like that, black guys! This is perfect because the amount of white guys in the NBA and in Kim Kardashian are both now around 10 percent.

Not only is he white, he’s from Minnesota. Which is as white as white people get. In their winter, which lasts from August until June, those people are so pale they’re practically mirrors. You go to Mall of America in December and it’s like walking around a fun house.

WELL HE LOOKS WHITE UPDATE – aww god dammit. so apparently his dad is black and his mom is white. which reminds me, if you meet a white girl with a baby and she tells you the father is black, they don’t find it funny if you go, “oh my gosh, you were raped? did they catch the guy?” they dont think it’s funny, at all, and your girlfriend will yell at you. just so you know.

(58) Comments

  1. avatar
    SCUM 12/07/2010 16:54

    KLM, isn’t that an airline? I know she is big and all but that seems a little much.

  2. avatar
    SCUM 12/07/2010 16:55

    Oh wait, Brendumb didn’t mean that because he doesn’t bring the funny, but I do.

  3. avatar
    One Puppet To Rule Them All 12/07/2010 16:56

    there we go! just what we needed, more kardashian supplied posts.

    this makes me want to poop.

  4. avatar
    SCUM 12/07/2010 16:56

    Pass the dutchie.

  5. avatar
    butter in ass 12/07/2010 17:01

    I only poop at home.

  6. avatar
    The Original Lo Rider 12/07/2010 17:02

    Ur shiiteing me, right? TWO Kim Kardashian posts in one day? There hasn’t been a day this bad since Obama sang “Mammy”

  7. avatar
    Beppo 12/07/2010 17:06

    Dear readers,
    As Spring turns to Summer in my adopted mother land all thoughts turn to my gay comrades who ride the steppe in pantsless bravado telling ribald stories of manly deeds. My great friend Paco surprised me with a new burro for my birthday whom I have lovingly named Eva II. She delighted me by thinking I was her mother so I returned her unbridled affection by nursing her with my flaccid member. Whilst it proved unsatisfying to her growling stomach, it was the best sex I have had since being firstmate on the U Boat during the great conflagration.
    We are in training now for when the Pantless Gauchos begin to move their herds during the heat of the summer in search of green pastures and quiet valleys where they can polish their knobs with abandon.
    My ever-miostened anus is wild with anticipation.

  8. avatar
    rokan 12/07/2010 17:07

    I once took a nice shit at the Mall of America, right next to the Orange Julius stand.

  9. avatar
    rokan 12/07/2010 17:09

    I think me and Beppo are trying to say the same thing.

  10. avatar
    PamGivesOrgasms 12/07/2010 17:09

    I miss Zombie. Where is that hunk of a man?

  11. avatar
    The Original Lo Rider 12/07/2010 17:09

    I took a nice Rokan* at the Mall Of America…


  12. avatar
    Observer 12/07/2010 17:10

    I had a question for Beppo…..

    …the other day I saw a news photo of Angela Merkel leaning over a (drooling) Hillary Clinton…….

    ….does Beppo see any chance for a “union” of the two homelands in our future?

  13. avatar
    The Original Lo Rider 12/07/2010 17:10

    Zombie’s in jail and loving every minute of it, Pam. It’s his turn as “Pivot Man”.

  14. avatar
    Observer 12/07/2010 17:12

    I must grudgingly admit…..the 10% comment about the NBA and Kardashian’s “Aunt Jemima” of a pussy was humorous….

  15. avatar
    One Puppet To Rule Them All 12/07/2010 17:14

    “Ur shiiteing me, right? TWO Kim Kardashian posts in one day? There hasn’t been a day this bad since Obama sang “Mammy””

    of course there will be alot of KK posts. She’s gotta make up for the lost twitter money.

  16. avatar
    PamGivesOrgasms 12/07/2010 17:14

    Deep inside, I think you all want to be Zombie

  17. avatar
    Observer 12/07/2010 17:16


    ….how deep?

    2-3 inches?

  18. avatar
    PamGivesOrgasms 12/07/2010 17:17

    Beppo likes to have sex with animals,
    I like getting fucked like an animal.

  19. avatar
    PamGivesOrgasms 12/07/2010 17:18

    Observer, you are so silly. In the last post I said I love 14 inches.

  20. avatar
    Observer 12/07/2010 17:21


    …and I LOVE millions of dollars…..and yet I still accept the paycheck I receive every two weeks…..

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