the top 100 stories of 2010 (90-100)

By brendon December 27, 2010 @ 5:37 PM

brooklyn_cartwheel

100. BROOKLYN DECKER – did a cartwheel in a bikini. Holy shit, this is number 100? Wow is this list gonna go down hill fast. (May 12th, May 13th, May 12th, May 11th)

99. HEIDI MONTAG – got DDD implants. As I was saying; Down. Hill. Fast. (January 21st, April 12th)

98. ANNA PAQUIN - announced that she’s bisexual, doubling the number of potential lovers who will have to ignore that gap between her teeth. I swear in some pictures it’s like she only has 2 teeth. (April 1st)

97. RICKY MARTIN – claims he’s gay, but if you listen to his older songs, he sings about many beautiful ladies and how he wants to make love to them. Gay? I don’t know, I don’t buy it. (March 29th)

96. COREY HAIM – died. This one would have been higher up if anyone knew he had been alive on March 9th. (March 10th)

95. AVATAR – broke the all time box office record, with a current total of 2.77 billion dollars. In a related story, people are generally dumb with horrible taste in movies. (January 25th)

94. JESSICA SIMPSON – is “sexual napalm”, according to John Mayer. If by “napalm” he means she clings to you and makes men run away, that seems fair. (February 10th)

93. LINDSAY LOHAN – is $600,000 in debt. Or at least she was back in April. How is she doing lately, has anyone heard? She lives her life with such a quiet dignity, it’s hard to keep up. (April 19th)

92. KATY PERRY AND RUSSELL BRAND – got engaged. Gee I wonder if their kids are gonna be pretentious and annoying. (January 6th)

91. KEVIN SMITH – was kicked off a Southwest flight for being too fat. Yes, we wouldn’t want to sully the classy experience of a Southwest flight by having to look at a fat guy. (February 15th)

90. KE$HA – was so bad on SNL, it had people wondering if she was the worst musical guest in the shows 35 year history. I don’t even know what the other choices are, but “Yes”. (April 20th)

wwtdd

(20) Comments

  1. MrAdams 12/27/2010 17:45

    Kesha is so bad, she should have been left off of the list entirely. Brooklyn Decker’s tits should have been moved up to that spot.

  2. MrAdams 12/27/2010 17:47

    I’m betting that “Michael Jackson Is Still Dead” makes the top ten on this list. Any takers?

  3. ohmwrecker 12/27/2010 17:50

    How many times will Lindsay Lohan make the list?

  4. LuckyBastard 12/27/2010 18:25

    Ke$ha the worst on SNL? How about any appearance by Kanye West!

  5. Porchmonkey4life 12/27/2010 19:26

    What number will Brenda’s crush Justin Beiber come in at?

  6. Tom Foolery 12/27/2010 20:25

    Bieber fever??

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  8. minimosh 12/27/2010 21:40

    dingle berries.

  9. duckbutter 12/27/2010 23:14

    working on a night groove

  10. duckbutter 12/27/2010 23:58

    #1, hands down, no questions asked, you gotta be a god damned idiot. out of your mind dumbass, if that pic of Jessica Simpson in the bikini sitting in the wet sand with her GLORIOUS clam out there for all to see isn’t number one. One more thing I don’t care if it was this sight or where the pick came from but that is officially probably the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. That is all

  11. Gildorg 12/27/2010 23:58

    Wow, this place is pretty dead! Everyone hungover from Christmas or what?

  12. duckbutter 12/27/2010 23:59

    pic

  13. duckbutter 12/28/2010 00:00

    and the best part was the see through white swim suit

  14. MrAdams 12/28/2010 00:04

    Um, wasn’t Jessica’s taco still in the wrapper on that picture? Still looked good, though.

  15. minimosh 12/28/2010 00:09

    I know not of what picture you speak of.

  16. The Irreverent Tony Stark 12/28/2010 01:16

    Someone wake me up when it’s 2011.

    Better yet, just let me sleep.

  17. Death to Finkle! 12/28/2010 01:49

    …so the Wookie says, “Good”, and wipes his ass with the Ewok.

  18. Gildorg 12/28/2010 07:59

    Isn’t it 2011 yet? Oh wait, that isn’t until this damn weekend… Two Holidays in a row on the weekends, is two too many!!!

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