Tom Cruise will skip the Oscars bc of Anne Hathaway

By brendon January 10, 2011 @ 1:42 PM

Back in November, Anne Hathaway hosted Saturday Night Live and did a breathy, stammering impression of Katie Holmes where she talked out of the side of her mouth like she was Popeye or had a stroke, and it was seen by dozens, literally dozens, of viewers around the world.

Well two of those viewers were apparently Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, and now they may not attend the Academy Awards next month because Hathaway is the host. The Daily Mail says…

‘Tom and Katie don’t want to have to cross paths with Anne,’ says a Hollywood source.
‘They used to be friends and took Anne to a Tina Turner concert in 2008 when Anne split up from her boyfriend Raffaello Follieri.
‘Katie feels they were really supportive at a difficult time so she feels let down that Anne took to national TV to make fun of her.
‘Anne didn’t even warn her it was going to be on TV.’

In Hathaways defense, if someone made me go to a Tina Turner concert they would be my mortal enemy until 50 years after I died, so doing an impression doesn’t seem so bad. And old lady in a mini-skirt, singing songs she can’t sing anymore? How dare you. I would have dug up their parents and pissed on them.

(19) Comments

  1. avatar
    rokan 01/10/2011 13:47


  2. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/10/2011 13:49

    Tom is afraid someone else will be wearing the same dress………

  3. avatar
    i hate you 01/10/2011 13:51

    tom has a baby dick!

  4. avatar
    mikey the retard 01/10/2011 13:52

    brrrb dunasin and a brehar in its dimmle

  5. avatar
    i hate you 01/10/2011 13:53

    mikey quit talking out of the side of your mouth. noone can understand you.

  6. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/10/2011 13:56

    Travolta is going to do an impression of Tom….he will talk out from his asshole…..

  7. avatar
    Observer 01/10/2011 14:02


    ..what will his asshole say?

    …”Welcome Home”?

  8. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/10/2011 14:09

    Observer….with out Poligrip…….”Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffff”

  9. avatar
    rokan 01/10/2011 14:10


    I think it will sound alot like Mikey. Its hard to talk with a dick in you.

  10. avatar
    Observer 01/10/2011 14:13

    I hope Mikey has not had a dick in him…..yet…..

    ….even ‘Tards need service……

    Mini-Gash!! How generous are you?

  11. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 01/10/2011 14:16

    The “…dozens…” line was rather clever. This place still blows.***


    ***All ellipses appearing in this post are Death to Finkle!’s. Any resemblance to Observer’s ellipses is purely coincidental.

  12. avatar
    Tweets that mention Tom Cruise will skip the Oscars bc of Anne Hathaway - What Would Tyler Durden Do -- 01/10/2011 14:18

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Frank Bulow, Craptacula. Craptacula said: Tom Cruise will skip the Oscars bc of Anne Hathaway: Back in November, Anne Hathaway hosted Saturday Night Live … [...]

  13. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 01/10/2011 14:32

    I’m with Xenu on this one…

    Only slutty thetans get naked in movies.

  14. avatar
    Observer 01/10/2011 14:35

    …or ARE they…….mwahh….haaa….haaa…..haaa…..

  15. avatar
    rokan 01/10/2011 14:36

    New up, jelly-tuggers.

  16. avatar
    Woodsman 01/10/2011 14:53

    So that’s three things I like about Anne Hathaway.

  17. avatar
    abby 01/10/2011 18:04

    I think that video gave me permanent brain damage. Is that supposed to be funny? A 30 year old pretending to be 18? Oh, hold on. No it’s just sad.

  18. avatar
    Tiddly 01/11/2011 08:05

    Someone really ought to put that beyond-overrated two-faced talentless ugly cunt Hathaway out of her and my misery.

  19. avatar
    Robert Knight 01/11/2011 12:50

    No way Travolta will be talking out his asshole at the Oscars… all the semen would fall out.

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