morning headlines

CHRIS EVANS – is on the cover of the new issue of Empire, and only a country as bad ass as America could have a superhero like this. What would the French one be, some pedophile in a smock holding a baguette? You can suck it, France! (empire)

RICKY GERVAIS – has been asked to host the Golden Globes again next year, because the ratings were up again, but doesn’t think he should because he doesn’t think the show could have been any better. Here’s a suggestion: trap doors for the losers. (hollywood reporter)

TYLER PERRY – is famous for playing a sassy old lady, but now he’ll play the lead in I, Alex Cross, the character originally played by Morgan Freeman in the movies Kiss the Girls and Along Came a Spider. I have to assume the producer agreed to this while duct taped to a chair and with Perrys agent forcing the pen in to his hand. That dude is a good agent! (variety)

JOAQUIN PHOENIX – may unretire to play the mentor in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, with Benjamin Walker playing Lincoln. Rule 1 with vampire hunting: just go out there and have fun. (deadline)