Monday morning headlines

CHRIS BROWN – took a naked picture of himself in a mirror, and it leaked over the weekend. I’m sure this video scan of the picture reaches the bottom of his penis at some point. Let me know how it turns out. (media take out)

RANGO – won the weekend box office with $38 million, easily beating the Adjustment Bureau which was second with $20.9M. When Matt Damon heard about this, he took a knife and ran the blade over the palm of his hand, made a fist and squeezed the blood through his fingers and vowed to get his revenge on Johnny Depp, so stay tuned. (deadline)

AUDRINA PATRIDGE – filmed her new show in Palm beach, Florida, and I would skip these if I were you because she looked terrible. Her only appeal was her big tits and they look way smaller now, and my interest in her is directly proportionate to her breast size. (splash and inf daily)