Remember when Kirsten Dunst was a huge star? That was weird, huh?
But it’s true. And it drove me insane. She was my nemesis. Not only was she disgusting to look at, with her cold clammy fishlike skin and creepy little baby teeth offset by two big giant fangs, but she was a spoiled bitch. She was so arrogant she even said Spiderman should die at the end of Spiderman 3 and Spiderman 4 should be all about her. And she meant it. Yet producers kept hiring her to haltingly deliver lines in their movie. It was madness.
Then, finally, people seemed to catch on. And here she is today, after a workout in Studio City. Go ahead. Check out the girl who was on Maxims Hot 100 four times before my tireless campaign to drive her out of Hollywood.
I don’t want to overstate this but I feel I should be considered one of historys greatest heros.