Thursday headlines, with the voluptuous Gwyneth Paltrow

By brendon May 12, 2011 @ 4:17 PM


TOM SIZEMORE – has been questioned by the LAPD about the disappearance of a 25-year-old girl named Megan Wren. Police think Sizemore might know something because he was friends with the girl, perhaps her boyfriend, and also because he’s genuinely crazy. Really, they should question him anytime anyone goes missing, whether he knew them or not. (e!, lapd missing persons blog)

CHELSEA HANDLER – made a seemingly harmless joke about Kirstie Alley being fat, and that’s apparently mean, despite the fact that Kirstie Alley is really fat. Are we all supposed to pretend like she isn’t? Screw that, she’s a monster. If she died today I wouldn’t know whether to call the coroner or a taxidermist. (popeater)

X-MEN FIRST CLASS – has their first movie clip up, with Charles Xavier and Mystique in a meeting at the CIA. Then some X-Menning goes on, and then Charles asks, “How’s that for a magic trick?” And the answer is, “Not very good”, because we saw how the girl did it. (yahoo)

GWYNETH PALTROW – decided her chest plate was sexy and showed it off last night in London at the National Movie Awards. If she were as pale as she normally is she’d look like a racquetball wall in a dress. (getty)

(20) Comments

  1. avatar
    i hate you 05/12/2011 16:20

    uma and gwyneth are on my screen. wtf? coldplay sucks too.

  2. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/12/2011 16:25

    Nice dress did the board come with it?

  3. avatar
    rokan 05/12/2011 16:25

    Pepper has better tits.

  4. avatar
    SCUM 05/12/2011 16:28

    That’s the ironing board Mr. Nutt.

  5. avatar
    rokan 05/12/2011 16:30


    That was comment #27,659,951.

    Nice work.

  6. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/12/2011 16:33

    That would explain the legs Scum, thanks.

  7. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 05/12/2011 16:36

    It’s obvious…
    She’s trying to look like Dolly Parton

  8. avatar
    i hate you 05/12/2011 16:41

    dp > gp

    rokan, do you have spreadsheet for that? what % of those comments are pepper?

  9. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 05/12/2011 16:41

    I tried to fly X-men first Class,
    But got bumped to avenger coach.

    (and yes, I know I stole that from FD)

  10. avatar
  11. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/12/2011 16:53

    The only way this day could get any worse is if Brenda put up those naked pictures of Kathy Griffin again.

  12. avatar
    SCUM 05/12/2011 16:59

    This little piggy went to the beach

  13. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/12/2011 17:00

    No matter how down I am, I can always watch this to make me laugh.

  14. avatar
  15. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/12/2011 17:22

    I don’t even know what to say about this!

  16. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/12/2011 17:26

    Scum, those tits look totally natural on her. (not!)

  17. avatar
    i hate you 05/12/2011 17:29

    black people are funny.

    i see a theme developing since yesterday.

  18. avatar
    Observer 05/12/2011 17:50

    Chicks LOVE this bitch…….because she’s so skinny………makes ‘em all jealous….

  19. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 05/12/2011 17:56

    I have no idea what Brenda’s talking about. Joe Perry never looked better.

  20. avatar
    Observer 05/12/2011 18:12


    ….you may need to adjust your summer vacation plans……

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