Jennifer Aniston is a home wrecking whore

By brendon June 14, 2011 @ 12:42 PM

jennifer-aniston-justin-theroux

Jennifer Aniston has talked non stop for 6 years to make sure everyone knows how awful it was when the mean and wicked Angelina Jolie took out her claws to seduce and steal Brad Pitt. Very obviously Jennifer would never do anything like that.

Jennifer Aniston’s romance with Justin Theroux has ended his 14-year relationship with his live-in girlfriend Heidi Bivens — who moved out of their home last weekend, Page Six has learned.

Oh.

Wait, so the guy Aniston has been publicly dating since mid-May, the one she went to the MTV Movie Awards with, was living with his girlfriend the entire time? Maybe they were already broken up but she just hadn’t moved yet.

Bivens “is devastated” after Theroux abruptly ended their relationship as he got close to Aniston.
“Heidi and Justin have been together for 14 years. They met when she was 20 years old and he 24, and yes, she just moved out of their home last weekend.”

Yeah but this is different because Angelina and Brad met on the set of ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’.

Aniston and Theroux met on the set of “Wanderlust” last fall, but in recent weeks they have become inseparable.

No, but, wait, Jennifer told Vogue the thing that hurt was that Angelina stole Brad. She knew he wasn’t single but she flirted with him anyway. By stark contrast, look at how Aniston acted toward Theroux when they made their movie together.

…the tight twosome (have) already settled into a form of domestic bliss on set! “Jen would take care of me a little bit,” Justin said. “When I would feel low, she had all these Chinese herbal medicines she’d give me. If I caught a cold, she’d make blueberry smoothies with antioxidants. She was a fantastic blender chef.”

Oh, gosh. So I guess it turns out that Jennifer Aniston is just a cunt. Gee what a surprise.

wwtdd

(7) Comments

  1. avatar
    i hate you 06/14/2011 12:58

    i don’t really care about this. if he didn’t marry her after being with her for that long, it must have been bc she had some issues. then he decided to fuck something with an equal amount of issues. he is the idiot, who chases idiots and will go back to the original idiot after the current idiot becomes psychotic.

    i hope they all die. that is all.

  2. avatar
    i hate you 06/14/2011 12:59

    fist

  3. avatar
    rokan 06/14/2011 13:12

    blah, blah, blah!

    What is Brend’as obsession with this cunt?

    The only reason I ever watched Friends is because her fucking nipples were always as hard as a ripe bing cherries all the time.

  4. avatar
    mikey the retard 06/14/2011 13:15

    i kanknot read all that words

  5. avatar
    Observer 06/14/2011 13:44

    1.) Who doesn’t like to taste a fresh cunt from time to time

    2.) I would like to see Anniston naked

    3.) New trim usually seems better than old trim

    4.) I would like to see Anniston spreadeagled across one of those bean-bag style fuck pillows….

    5.) More men should fuck strange women….it helps evolution

    6.) I wonder if Theroux makes Anniston wear a ball-gag…..because that might be a good idea…….

  6. avatar
    funny 06/14/2011 13:50

    There was no stealing- Brad RAN away from this extremely needy & creepy narcissist as did Vince Vaughn, John Mayer, and a bunch of other nameless dudes. Aniston is getting past middle age and desperately grasping at anyone she can, This Heidi girl is much hotter and is a lot less leathery/orange than Aniston- plus, she no longer has to bang a guy who looks like a troll doll- WINNER!

  7. avatar
    Fang Wu 06/14/2011 19:32

    I don’t think Angelina Jolie took out her claws to steal Bernie Mac or whichever Ocean’s 11 actor it was. I can’t tell them apart.

    Unless by ‘claws” you mean titties.

You must be to post a comment.