‘Battleship’: dumbest movie ever?

July 29, 2011 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

A few years ago of course, Hasbro tricked Universal into a deal to make movies based on thier toys. Except for Transformers and GI Joe, which already had deals with Paramount. In other words, except for the only two toys that could be turned into movies. That left Universal with Monopoly, Candyland, Clue, Ouija, Magic: The Gathering, Stretch Armstrong and… this. Battleship.

So they made a battleship movie. With aliens.

They have fucking aliens in it.

Instead of making a World War II movie about battleships, maybe one about Leyte Gulf, the largest naval battle in the history of the world, which had like 30 battleships in it, they made this.

A modern day battleship movie. With aliens.

Um, just in case you’re a girl, the US Navy hasn’t had a battleship in its fleet for like 20 years. The big money shot at the end? This? That’s an Iowa class battleship. We don’t have those anymore. Battleships aren’t even listed on the Navys inventory anymore. They were torn apart for scrap metal. 5 or 6 are still around as memorials, but they couldn’t fire any more than they could have a giant helicopter blade come out of the top and fly away. This would be like if they made ‘Top Gun’ today, and everyone had a Raptor except for Tom Cruise, who had a white scarf and leather helmet and flew a bi-plane.

Tags: battleship movie trailers

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