Jessica Simpson had a birthday

By brendon July 11, 2011 @ 11:51 AM


Jessica Simpsons 31st birthday was yesterday, and she was so excited about the present her fiance bought her with her money that she went on twitter to post a picture and say…

“Eric made my birthday!!! I have never been more surprised in my life! Jackie O who? ;)”

That’s a purse, by the way. If you couldn’t tell. It’s from Hermes. It’s called a Birkin, and you couldn’t get a girl any wetter unless it was filled with sleeping puppies. They’re basically legal rohypnol. They start at around $8,000 but can easily reach $150,000. They come in 4 sizes (20, 30, 35 and 40 centimeter), and are usually made of either leather, ostrich, crocodile, or lizard skin. Victoria Beckham has spent around $2.3 million on them.

Jessicas looks like a 40cm leather bag, so it probably cost around $15,000. She’s actually really well known for her extensive and extra fancy bag collection (though she usually carries Louis Vuitton), so she’s either acting so happy to be polite or because this is actually a Birkin shaped cake.

(14) Comments

  1. avatar
    The Puppet 07/11/2011 11:51

    So, are we back to normal yet?
    Why don’t you ban Rokan and all his puppets?
    Wait, never mind, then this place would only have about three people posting, just like the Daily Yuckie.
    Jaybroni so hung himself with the shoelaces out of his black Chuck Taylors, and it is so Rokan’s fault. Nice work.

    Rokan had nothing to do with it. The pressure finally got to Jay. A new girl every day = 365 hot chicks. Can’t do it. I dare you to try. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year. Or his girlfriend made him stop. Women always got to ruin a mans good time. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t shoot them.

    mr puppet payed me fore dollars to let him putt marshmeellos up my wrektum


    I’ve been asked to write an article about new psychological syndromes for AMA weekly and I’m hoping you can help me out.

    I’d like to explore the issue of Rokan-envy and how it can effect one’s life in such a debilitating fashion. I think you’d be perfect for it.
    Would you be able to swing by the office next week? We’ll put you up in the stirrups, and you can just let it all loose.

    I’ll even check you for worms and we’ll call it even.

    What do you say, Buddy?

  2. avatar
    wolvie1892 07/11/2011 11:52

    I have a sack she can kiss…

  3. avatar
    rokan 07/11/2011 11:54


  4. avatar
    Shitcock 07/11/2011 11:57

    What an ugly fucking bag.

    The purse isn’t bad, though.

  5. avatar
    rokan 07/11/2011 12:00

    It looks like she is partying in a frat house with her pajama pants on.

  6. avatar
    Bono is a cunt 07/11/2011 12:20

    How depressing. I like being moderately poor. Nothing to worry about. And I have massive cock too.

  7. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 07/11/2011 12:47

    It’s like one of those “punctuate the following sentence” problems from grade school.

    Nice bag, lady.

    Nice bag lady.

  8. avatar
    rokan 07/11/2011 12:48

    How ’bout?

    Nice, bag lady

  9. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 07/11/2011 12:58

    Nice, big Wookie.

    Nice big dookie.

  10. avatar
    GeekVarietyDotCom 07/11/2011 13:28

    So J.S’s boyfriend, who is VEGAN, bought her a leather handbag?
    What a douche. He must be one of those fashionable vegans who thinks its okay to eat cheese…..

  11. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 07/11/2011 13:28

    If we glued Petey Wentz’s pubes to that purse,
    Would it be a Birkin Merkin?

  12. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 07/11/2011 13:34

    And 15,000 bucks for a purse… you gotta be fuckin kidding me.
    You know how many Columbian sex salves I can buy with that???

  13. avatar
    mercury 07/11/2011 19:58

    I’d have been happy to give her a birthday bang.

  14. avatar
    McleodAdele43876283 07/12/2011 09:03

    I paid $32.67 for a XBOX 360 and my mom got a 17 inch Toshiba laptop for $94.83 being delivered to our house tomorrow by FedEX. I will never again pay expensive retail prices at stores. I even sold a 46 inch HDTV to my boss for $650 and it only cost me $52.78 to get. Here is the website we using to get all this stuff,

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