you have got to be gd kidding me

By brendon July 07, 2011 @ 6:53 PM


Jessica Simpson announced her new fragrance today, a perfume called ‘I Fancy You.’ You read that right by the way. ‘I Fancy You’. Her perfume is called ‘I Fancy You’. Because nothing gets a guy hotter than hundred year old phrases his grandmother used. I also like my girlfriend to wear a white wig and bifocals and a sweater with a Christmas tree on it, and when I fuck her in the ass she looks over her shoulder at me and yells, “you kids get outa there!” Finally, a perfume for me!

(39) Comments

  1. avatar
    wickedretarded 07/07/2011 19:09

    How about “I fancy spew!” all over my stupid airbrushed face. Or is that too obvious?

  2. avatar
    rokan 07/07/2011 19:17

    My guess is it smells like fromunda cheese.

  3. avatar
    Phetasy 07/07/2011 19:36

    Next up in the perfume line: ” Smiley face. Wink.” Puke. Doesn’t matter if it was called “I Smell Like Poo”. She’ll still make another couple million.

  4. avatar
    redneckwordsofwisdom 07/07/2011 20:16

    I see nothing wrong with that name. I think it’s peachy keen.

  5. avatar
    MrAdams 07/07/2011 20:54

    I’m glad to see that I didn’t miss anything important today. A truly forgettable collection of subjects. Thanks for nothing.

  6. avatar
    rokan 07/07/2011 21:19


    You weren’t here today?

    Huh? Well, I’m really speechless.

    I could have sworn you said something funny.

  7. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 07/07/2011 21:22

    I guess Brenda didn’t find these stories worthy.

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  10. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 07/07/2011 21:28

    Look how pissed off Jason Statham looks pushing that shopping cart. Fucking hilarious!

  11. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 07/07/2011 21:34

    This isn’t that hard.

  12. avatar
    buddygroove 07/07/2011 21:35

    You lie. You don’t have a girlfriend.

  13. avatar
    jacknile 07/07/2011 21:35

    well she just thinks shes all that and a bag a chips

  14. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 07/07/2011 21:39

    For someone who is dumber than a box of rocks she is doing pretty well.

  15. avatar
    Gildorg 07/08/2011 01:58

    If she would get herself back into her Daisy Duke fighting shape, she would be pretty damn hot! As a fattie… Not so much…

    Ah, a few hours home to drink myself to sleep!


  16. avatar
    eve 07/08/2011 03:36

    c ‘mon she still looks hot and frankly speaking most men do fancy her!!!

  17. avatar
    Rumik 07/08/2011 06:45

    Actually that phrase is still widely used in the UK. But she’s not English so she has no excuse. BURN HER (but get her to jiggle her boobies around first).

  18. avatar
    Shitcock 07/08/2011 08:29

    I heard about this earlier on the talkies and I think it’s the bee’s knees.

  19. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 07/08/2011 10:02

    If she wanted something retro, she should name it after her vagina…
    The Dust Bowl

    23 skidoo

  20. avatar
    MrAdams 07/08/2011 10:21

    Talk about living in the past, who posts stories about Jessica Simpson these days? That is so last century!

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