Jim Carrey is insane, hearts Emma Stone

As far as I can tell Jim Carey has never even met Emma Stone, but, no, really Jim, please don’t let that dissuade you in any way from telling the entire world how badly you want to fuck her.

Here’s a transcript.

“I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but, you know, smart and kindhearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you, and we would have chubby little freckled faced kids. We’d laugh all day long and go camping and play Yahtzee and tell ghost stories by the fire. And the sex? Everyday for the rest of your life, you would thank God that I was the appropriate age for you. But I’m not. I’m 49. I have lines on my face, sometimes a little grey in my beard, and it takes me a little longer to pee than it used to. Those are the only discernible signs of aging that I can find so far.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I felt. You’re pretty special, and I wish you continued success and artistic fulfillment, but most of all, I wish you love and contentment. That’s all.”

She’s 22 by the way. So yes, Jim Carrey, who is 49, went on youtube because he really wants to fuck a 22 year old stranger. And he assumed the best way to accomplish that was to tell several million people about his erection and hope one of them tells her so she can take care of it. I would assume it’s a joke but Jim Carrey is insane, and he has hundreds of millions of dollars, so Emma better hide somewhere good before he kidnaps her and holds her hostage on a plane that never lands, it just refuels in mid air and he never touches the ground like that rich guy in ‘Contact’.