09.15.2011 BREAKING NEWS: Jennifer Aniston is dull

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In an interview that comes out this weekend in Parade magazine, Brad Pitt confirms what everyone already suspected; that Jennifer Aniston is a soul-crushing bore.

After saying how he loves his life now (with Angelina Jolie and their 6 kids) he adds that wasn’t always the case.

“I spent the ’90s trying to hide out, trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony,” he admits. “I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out. It started feeling pathetic. It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself.”
“I think that my marriage had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.”

Ahem…

“…I wasn’t living an interesting life … I think that my marriage had something to do with it.”

Oohh, you don’t say. You didn’t want to talk about her haircut anymore? That’s hard to believe. As soon as she said she had to use the restroom on our very first date I would have run out of the restaurant like Indiana Jones diving out of the cave right before that big boulder got him.

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11 Comments

(11) Comments

  1. MrAdams 09/15/2011 17:10

    This story seems destined for “Crowd Favorites”.

  2. iSlomoshun 09/15/2011 17:14

    Jennifer Aniston could be a mute for all I care..I’d still plow the shit out of her.

  3. Rok 09/15/2011 17:18

    I wonder what his calm smells like.

  4. Mac-Daddy 09/15/2011 17:40

    Fuck you Brendumb!!

    While your slapping your noodle to some Korean web Cam whore, I’d be fucking Aniston with the gusto of a black man chasing down his wealfare check!

  5. mercury 09/15/2011 18:18

    Enough with Brad Pitt! The guy hasn’t done anything since Seven and Sleepers worth paying attention to.

  6. Observer 09/15/2011 19:33

    Rok (ant)…….@17:18

    I wonder what his calm smells like.

    ….his calm probably smells serene…….

  7. Observer 09/15/2011 19:45

    ….the fact is….decent people have used euphemisms and mis-direction about this situation……

    ….but let’s face it…..Jolie had bigger tits and a better ass than Anniston……..

    …why wouldn’t you drive a Boxster rather than a Miata…

  8. adglkjglrjnaanan 09/15/2011 20:48

    Come go and see, will not regret it Oh look

    http://www。ifancyshop。com

  9. DBXdarkangel 09/16/2011 10:09

    BREAKING NEWS…………..Couldnt give a fuck what Brad-over-rated-shit-actor says………….End of news.

  10. EdwinGomez03 09/16/2011 11:15

    I just got a $829.99 iPad2 for only $103.37 and my mom got a $1499.99 HDTV for only $251.92, they are both coming with USPS tomorrow. I would be an idiot to ever pay full retail prices at places like Walmart or Bestbuy. I sold a 37″ HDTV to my boss for $600 that I only paid $78.24 for. I use CentStart

  11. EdwinGomez03 09/16/2011 11:19

    I just got a $829.99 iPad2 for only $103.37 and my mom got a $1499.99 HDTV for only $251.92, they are both coming with USPS tomorrow. I would be an idiot to ever pay full retail prices at places like Walmart or Bestbuy. I sold a 37″ HDTV to my boss for $600 that I only paid $78.24 for. I use CentStart。com

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