is Beyonce pregnant or not?

In August, Beyonce announced that she was pregnant, and almost immediately people started noticing that her “baby bump” seemed to radically change in size from day to day. The rumor quickly began that she actually was not pregnant at all, but that she and Jay Z had hired a surrogate to have their baby and Beyonce was wearing a prosthetic piece to make it look like she was pregnant for attention. Adding new credibility to this awesome rumor is that her “bump” seemed to fold in half then pop back into shape as she sat down to do an interview on Sunday (gif above).

ABC News asked her publicist about this today and was told the rumor was “ridiculous, stupid and false.” But screw that. It’s more fun to think she’s faking it. And she would too because this way she gets nine months of attention for being pregnant, then 6 months of, “oh my god she got back into shape so fast, she’s amazing.” We both know Beyonce would eat that shit up.

Luckily most actors and singers are practically retarded, and she’s both, making her full-on retarded, so now we just have to sit back and wait for her to put the prosthetic on wrong, then explain why her bump in now on her back.