is Beyonce pregnant or not?

By brendon October 11, 2011 @ 4:59 PM

In August, Beyonce announced that she was pregnant, and almost immediately people started noticing that her “baby bump” seemed to radically change in size from day to day. The rumor quickly began that she actually was not pregnant at all, but that she and Jay Z had hired a surrogate to have their baby and Beyonce was wearing a prosthetic piece to make it look like she was pregnant for attention. Adding new credibility to this awesome rumor is that her “bump” seemed to fold in half then pop back into shape as she sat down to do an interview on Sunday (gif above).

ABC News asked her publicist about this today and was told the rumor was “ridiculous, stupid and false.” But screw that. It’s more fun to think she’s faking it. And she would too because this way she gets nine months of attention for being pregnant, then 6 months of, “oh my god she got back into shape so fast, she’s amazing.” We both know Beyonce would eat that shit up.

Luckily most actors and singers are practically retarded, and she’s both, making her full-on retarded, so now we just have to sit back and wait for her to put the prosthetic on wrong, then explain why her bump in now on her back.

(23) Comments

  1. avatar
    i hate you 10/11/2011 17:07

    i don’t care, but i hear that africans are very fertile.

  2. avatar
    Observer 10/11/2011 17:32

    I hate it when a chick tells you she’s preggers……..

    …and 17 years later she tells you it’s someone else’s……..

  3. avatar
    Gildorg 10/11/2011 17:32

    Am I supposed to care?

    What does this have to do with Lindsay’s Tits? Or even Aussie Boobs at this point?

    Cheers, Gentlemen!

  4. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 10/11/2011 17:32

    Obs, I so do miss fucking with people over at yahoo. I am still banned from there and my emails for reinstatement go unanswered.

  5. avatar
    Observer 10/11/2011 17:38

    Mr. Nutt……

    ….create a new alias……

    …I’m slowly realizing that I need a pivot table in Excel to handle all my bullshit aliases…..

    …and if my wife sees them ALL…..she may begin to think I’m strange…..

  6. avatar
    Observer 10/11/2011 17:40

    I have several hotmails…….AND Live.mails……..and I’m thinking of creating a “real” facebook……..

    ….I need a website just to store my data and bookmarks…..

  7. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 10/11/2011 17:40

    Obs, i had a girl try to claim she was knocked up with my child back in the day. I told her to fuck off. She replied by having me served. Many months later in court I was proven NOT to be the father. These were the days before the Maury Povich show. Thank God for DNA tests. I knew the pull & jerk method was full proof. I still have those court papers in my safe just in case I get a knock on my door someday.

  8. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 10/11/2011 17:43

    I don’t know how you and Roky keep all that stuff straight! I was on there too much. They did me a favor by kicking me off. My life is more together now but I do miss it sometimes. Some of those people are so fun to fuck with!

  9. avatar
    Pepper 10/11/2011 17:45

    Would you want your watermelon looking like JZ?

  10. avatar
    The Fried Man 10/11/2011 17:45

    I heard Jay-Z shoots blanks. True story.

  11. avatar
    Pepper 10/11/2011 17:47

    How does one fuck over at yahoo?
    They banned your ass for being a dick…Brenda, take note and get rid of the unemployed idiot!

  12. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 10/11/2011 17:52

    PEPPER! How are you buddy?

  13. avatar
    Observer 10/11/2011 17:53


    …look at the prior post……I got chosen as “Best Answer” several times……

  14. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 10/11/2011 17:54

    Pep, it’s a mind fuck. You wouldn’t understand. I also am not an idiot. Sarcastic asshole maybe.

  15. avatar
    Pepper 10/11/2011 17:54

    Thanks for asking Little Buddy…I’ve been busy with my tree house…..

  16. avatar
    Pepper 10/11/2011 17:57

    Sorry Observer….could not find you post under R0kan?

  17. avatar
    Observer 10/11/2011 18:03


    …R0kan is a “bottom”… I’m usually on top….

  18. avatar
    Observer 10/11/2011 18:03

    Some of these Yahoo people are geniuses……

    …we need to recruit them over here…..;_ylt=AvNL_qxLJNq04Lbl1C8YETfsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20110929084501AAdMhji

  19. avatar
    Mr. Poop 10/11/2011 18:04

    So this cunt is knocked up too?

    Who’s loading all these slots with jizz?

  20. avatar
    Observer 10/11/2011 18:04

    I’m PROUD of this answer….

    Geniuses, I tell you…..;_ylt=At3EaUOfOFj6zstkdAi1gZfsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20110928174528AAcMClC

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