Just yesterday Jennifer Aniston told a magazine that she was not pregnant and had no plans to get married. So does that mean she's already married? Probably not, no, but Star is gonna tell you that anyway.
It just came out this morning so there's no story to go along with that cover but you get the idea. She eloped, no friends, no pre-nup. And it's that sense of desperation that makes this so plausible. Jennifer Aniston is like a rich version of those girls who become pen-pals with prisoners. She just wants anyone, literally anyone, to date her. Sorry about the planet being so small, Jen.