Ashton Kutcher has some timely new relationship advice

By brendon November 18, 2011 @ 4:35 PM


If you think that being in the middle of a cheating scandal would stop Ashton Kutcher from sounding like a pretentious jackass while he pontificates on the secrets to a good relationship, please allow me to introduce you to Ashton Kutcher. He has new interviews in the December editions of ‘Mens Health‘ and ‘Womens Health’, where he revealed his key to a happy marriage.

“I think it’s all about working on the relationship and making it better when it’s good. Don’t wait for a problem to work on things. The goal is not to get into a relationship; the goal is to be in a relationship.”

“At least that’s what it says here on my list of pandering things to say to a magazine for women to make me seem romantic and sensitive.”

When asked what compliment he’d most like to receive from a woman, Kutcher said:
“I would just like a woman someday, somewhere, at some point in my life to say to me, ‘You’re a great listener’ Haven’t heard it yet, and that’s a superior compliment to get from a woman. But I’m going to work on it.”

“As your wife I really hate it when you go out and bang random whores. Ashton are you listening to me?”

And what might be the most revealing comment of all, Kutcher remarked, “I could never be with a woman who felt like she needs to change me.”

“Well I could be, as long as she minds her own business.”

(image source of ashton yesterday outside his enormous two-story trailer on the set of ‘two and a half men’ = inf)

(15) Comments

  1. avatar
    DBXdarkangel 11/18/2011 16:37

    First BIATCHES!!!

    Ashton Kutcher is a fucking douche. End of.

  2. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 11/18/2011 16:51

    Someone go Charles Manson on this fucking douche……

  3. avatar
    Observer 11/18/2011 16:59

    I’ve always been idly curious as to whether these “interviews” even really occur…..

    ……or whether the “journalist” and publicist just get together and hash out a few “question/answer” thingies………..

    …..and the celeb sits there drooling into a mirror …..or ……….if female….sucking some random cock……

  4. avatar
    trent.steel 11/18/2011 16:59

    The guy realizes he is wealthy, famous, not over the hill and that plastic surgery can’t preserve his old ass wife forever. So, he does the logical thing and gets some young sluts. Why is everybody shitting on him?

  5. avatar
    Observer 11/18/2011 16:59


    ….Good Day to you, sir….!

  6. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 11/18/2011 17:06

    The goal is not to get into a relationship my wife; the goal is to be in a relationship.whore

    In Asston’s defense….
    It’s a well known fact it’s hard to be a good listener in a loud hot tub full of whores

  7. avatar
    lethargic 11/18/2011 17:09

    I’m with Trent. Paraphrasing what a great man once said:

    Ugly young pussy always beats hot old pussy.

  8. avatar
    Observer 11/18/2011 17:32

    Where’s R0kan’t been?

  9. avatar
    dubbya 11/18/2011 17:55

    I guess the tang on old bitches doesn’t swap out as easily as the lenses on the canon COOLPIX.

  10. avatar
    B.P. 11/18/2011 18:13

    God bless this soulless douchebag for securing his investments in his time of personal tragedy.

    I’m pissed that this attention-whore even thought he could handle a relationship with an older woman more than anything he could have done to cause the inevitable divorce. Who thought this would work out? Yeah Ashton, you’re a miracle man that can make an age difference that great work out for everyone involved…what an opportunistic asswipe. I couldn’t wish an deadly aneurysm on a more deserving shitbag.

  11. avatar
    Scout 11/18/2011 21:55

    Wow, this is just like when I do a crap ton of meth and then tell all the kids at the park how to stay off drugs. I’m not sure where I was going with that because I just did a crap ton of meth. Why are all these kids looking at me?

  12. avatar
    Bonnie 11/18/2011 23:47

    well, Ashton is a douche bag and a weenie womper. End of subject.

  13. avatar
    dirk 11/20/2011 19:39

    but I mean seriously, he’s young, she’s old. full of botox. but still hot, but seriously, is anybody surprised?? It was an epic fail from the start and mega predictable. Seriously folks, there must have been some way they knew they would make a shit load of cash out of this. The world is all about money after all right??

  14. avatar
    zmxzmxzmx 11/26/2011 11:44

    Ni ke (R4,NZ,OZ,TL1,TL2,TL3) $35
    Hndbags(Coach lv fendi d&g) $35
    Tshirts (Polo ,ed hardy,lacoste) $16
    Jean(True Religion,ed hardy) $30
    Sunglasses(Oakey,coach,gucci,Armaini) $15
    New era cap $10
    Bikini (Ed hardy,polo) $25

  15. avatar 11/29/2011 11:53

    Hey, where is your Demi?

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