One time me and my buddy Randy and my buddy Dave were bow hunting and we were in the cabin on the first night knocking down bottles of Southern Comfort, because we’re hicks from Louisiana and that’s what we drink. Anyway, Dave passed out at around 3am so of course me and Randy dragged him into the woods and stripped him naked and rolled him onto his stomach and poured about 4 bottles of Doe In Heat on his ass. If you don’t know, Doe In Heat is urine of a female deer and it’s used to attract male deer. Just a few drops will attract every buck within a hundred miles. The plan was to have some huge stag come mount Dave, but we were making tons of noise, and so unfortunately no deer ever made love to Daves anus. Which is probably for the best, since an erect deer penis is about four feet long, and I bet Dave would have been pretty surprised to get sodomized by that, to wake up with that pressing against his heart and collapsing his rectum. It would have been worth it though because we could have said, “Wow, he deer-ly loves you Dave!” “What an en-deer-ing couple you two make!” Ha!
Anyway, Demi Lovato went on twitter and she has red hair now.