At some point last year, Scarlett Johansson took a vow to look as awful as possible at all times. And last night was no exception, at the New York premiere for ‘We Bought A Zoo’, her new movie with Matt Damon and director Cameron Crowe.
She’s chubby, her dress is ugly, her makeup looks like it was done on horseback, and she has Gozer the Gozerian hair. When asked about meeting Scarlett for the first time, Vinz Clortho said, “Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!”
(image source = splash and getty)
Gozer the Gozerian hair…priceless ;)
Chubby? Seriously?
Don’t forget to mention the fine brown hue of her teeth. She should just wear a t-shirt by Adobe at this point – give them direct advertising.
Chubby? I’d hit it so hard her whole family would feel it.
If I was dating her, I would tell her to go back in the bathroom and don’t come out until you dont look stupid. Then she would probably cry and lock herself in the bathroom and call her mom and tell her how mean I was being. http://www.hollywoodpinata.com
In what way does she look awful? She is not chubby by any means, sure maybe not as toned as say Jessica Biel who is devoted to fitness, but seriously..look at her waist. Maekup done on horseback? Odd considering it is was presumably applied by a professional makeup artist as well as the fact that in the giant picture of her face her makeup is not smeared or messed up in any way.. in fact it looks pretty damn good. Frankly this post is obnoxious and unwarranted, Scarlett Johansson is a gorgeous woman who looks on parr with how she has at various other events in the past. I’m a big fan of this site and realize that it shoudn’t be taken too seriously, making fun of celebrities is basically its goal and i find the things said on it to be funny, but accusing her of looking awful here is simply ridiculous, and we wonder why girls feel they have to live up to this beauty myth created by the media, why they hate their bodies and faces, if Scarlett Johansson is chubby and ugly than what the fuck is wrong with the world.
Maybe not chubby, but that dress is all kinds of unflattering. Is it a two-piece? Ugh. And yeah, her teeth are yellow and that hairstyle is doing her no favours. I’m starting to forget why she was such a big deal in the first place.
From the front she looks like Wolverine. From the side she looks like Pauly D.
Yo, you have got to be effing kidding with me with your chubby comment. Usually am always in agreement; her hair is atrocious, her dress is terrible and the shoes do not go at all…..but chubby? Please.
There’s no one to blame here but yourself man, The Destructor just took on the form of whatever you were thinking of.
This chick has never been “pretty” per se……..
….she is juicy as hell……..so that’s usually good enough for me…….
….that’s why doggy-style was invented……
Never could understand the fascination with this chick. She’s a solid 6, maybe a 7 if you’ve been drinking. She kinda reminds me of the neighbor girl we all wanted to fuck as teenagers but never did and never really missed not doing it. Without those tits this girl is NOTHING. She is a 4 or a 5 without that rack.
Dave……@18:05…….
….excellent analysis……