is this Khloe Kardashians’ real dad (on the right)?

By brendon January 24, 2012 @ 5:49 PM


Fox cites a few sources today in suggesting that Khloe Kardashians real father is a man named Alex Roldan, who has been Kris Jenners hairdresser for over 30 years.

Now, this would imply that a hairdresser with a salon in West Hollywood had sex with a woman, which seems unlikely, but he is over 6 feet tall, which might account for Khloes height, and her middle name is Alexandria, but more than anything there’s a clip of him in this absolutely unbearable video that Kris Jenner made when she was 30 (yes she’s been an attention whore for that long). Just look at this .gif of it, because HOLY FUCK YES. That’s absolutely her father.

He looks exactly like her. Fuck, he looks so much like her it makes me wonder if Kris is even Khloes mom. Was there even a mom? It’s looks more like the dude just cloned himself. Maxi-Me.

(33) Comments

  1. avatar
    Observer_Burn Notice 01/24/2012 17:58

    This is a repeat comment from threads long ago (and far away)…


  2. avatar
    fuzzdog 01/24/2012 18:00

    You mean Fugly?

  3. avatar
    harleydavidson 01/24/2012 18:00

    cant be. everyone knows that all male hairdresswers are homosexuals.

  4. avatar
    mrragoo 01/24/2012 18:02


  5. avatar
    dubbya 01/24/2012 18:27

    Khloe isn’t this guys daughter, Khloe IS this guy.

  6. avatar
    iSlomoshun 01/24/2012 18:46

    Good god she’s fucking gross.

  7. avatar
    Alley 01/24/2012 18:47

    Yeah, pretty much, it’s Khloe in a wig

  8. avatar
    Cocktail 01/24/2012 18:58

    Any truth to the rumor that R0kan is really her daddy? Inquiring minds wanna know.

  9. avatar
    Dr Poop 01/24/2012 19:14

    I saw the paternity test. It turns out that R0kan is actually her twin.

    The eggs a man-jam were artificially inseminated into Bruce Jenner’s asshole, then the embryo split. R0kan stayed in there and gestated anally for an extra 3 months after Kim was born.

    That’s what makes him so hairy

  10. avatar
    Mr. Poop 01/24/2012 19:21

    “eggs a man-jam?”

    I saw that on the menu at the Blue Oyster Bar when I was there for a speed dating lunch before Christmas.

    Didn’t think it would catch on so fast.

  11. avatar
    .BALLS. 01/24/2012 20:08

    you hear that p3pp3r? gay people can have hetero sex?

  12. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 01/24/2012 20:18

    So, the big foot mystery is now solved?

  13. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 01/24/2012 20:20

    Do gay men hold their noses when they do it with women or is there a turkey baster involved?

  14. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 01/24/2012 20:22

    .balls., P3pp3r will be whining for your removal when he sees your statement.

  15. avatar
    i am satire 12 01/24/2012 20:39

    Time to update Andre the Giants wikipedia page to include her long lost daughter. Be right back.

  16. avatar
    Gildorg 01/24/2012 21:35

    Yes Obs,

    I am still here and unmolested since 2006!

    Though, that is kind of a dubious honor, at this point…

  17. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 01/24/2012 21:38

    Gildorg, unmolested is very good. A great reason to be proud and to drink!


  18. avatar
    The Narrator 01/24/2012 21:48

    Uncanny. They look like incestuous bro/sis.

  19. avatar
    Cocktail 01/24/2012 22:46

    Hey everybody! There’s a talking monkey on TV right now! Go check it out, it is hilarious!

  20. avatar
    Cocktail 01/24/2012 22:46

    Oh, wait. It’s just the State of the Union Address. My bad.

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