Katy Perry was too boring in bed for Russell Brand

By brendon January 05, 2012 @ 2:12 PM

katy_perry

Russell Brand says he used to be a sex addict and have sex 5 times a day, so if it seemed unlikely that the religious and sugary-sweet Katy Perry could satisfy him in bed, that’s because it was.

Russell Brand is notorious for his once-wild lifestyle and attempts to change his bad boy ways. But according to a report in the newest issue of Us Weekly, Brand allegedly wasn’t able to kick all of his bad habits.
“Katy was kinky enough during their first times together and he was very attracted to her,” a source claimed.

Wait, so she was more fun in bed before she got married, but then made sex routine and monotonous? Well this is the first I’ve ever heard of a girl like that. What did he want that she was too good for anyway?

“He likes dirty things. He really gets off on one particular porno with a guy in a wheelchair. He’s attracted to things he can’t imagine happening to him. (And) he has a closet full of sex toys.”

Ok well obviously I didn’t know about the wheelchair thing. Maybe she has a point. Because if you’re a hot girl with big tits, and you can move in the direction that your hair is pulled and open your mouth on command, the sex is gonna be fine. I should write that on my eharmony profile somewhere. I don’t have time for a bunch of games.

wwtdd

(17) Comments

  1. Burbank 01/05/2012 14:14

    First.

  2. Burbank 01/05/2012 14:16

    BTW, this item is lame. All fucking women are kinky until you marry them. ALL OF THEM. Now excuse me while I cry myself back to sleep thinking about my ex-wife.

  3. P3pp3r 01/05/2012 14:28

    I feel a song coming on……
    Who wants to dance?
    Who has the lyrics?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMpjWxsPXOE

  4. Zorbitor 01/05/2012 14:39

    Strange stuff is always more exciting than the old lady!

  5. Cocktail 01/05/2012 14:48

    All I wanna do is shoot hot ropes of jizz on Katy Perry’s titties. Does that make me a bad person?

  6. Pugiron 01/05/2012 14:53

    If she was half as hot as people pretend that would be hard to believe. She uses the same camera tricks and support clothes Kim Fatassian and The Big Red Monster Hendricks use and every candid photo of her reveals how dumpy her ass really is. But WWTDD’s inch worm don’t want none unless her breasts sag, hun.

  7. harleydavidson 01/05/2012 15:33

    cocktail, i think that condemns you to the lowest circle of hell but i cant say i blame you. you could even wait. katy perry will meet you there as eternal punishment for fucking that retarded britsh douchebag.

  8. Mac-Daddy 01/05/2012 15:37

    Tits = win

  9. Tripod 01/05/2012 16:12

    It wouldn’t have been so bad if she hadn’t told him she was saving her starfish for Jesus.

  10. jimcardillo@yahoo.com 01/05/2012 18:45

    Tripod +1

  11. JBizzle 01/05/2012 22:26

    What are these?”Neener-neener” photos?

  12. zencat002 01/05/2012 23:48

    He didn’t like sex with her because she had no penis.

  13. Redbean 01/06/2012 01:25

    4 reasons why you should try—Kissinguniform.c0m–
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    2) 10+ years experience of online dating service
    3 Free to browse and place photo ads
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    Thanks for your attention and maybe you want to check out my photos there firstly, lol~

  14. SearchCelebrityHD.com 01/06/2012 08:43

    Poor, I want TITS! Nude tits!
    http://www.searchcelebrityhd.com/

  15. QueerWithaGun 01/06/2012 11:22

    What did he expect she’s a jesuss freak.

  16. BA732 01/06/2012 13:10

    Check out Katie’s warlocks at http://www.brilliantarrogance.com/

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