Mark Wahlberg is an idiot

My favorite part of the Golden Globes last night was when Mark Wahlberg and Jessica Biel came out to present ‘Best Actor’, and Wahlberg was asked to read things. Which was funny because Mark Wahlberg is an idiot.

His first line, which the professional actor apparently couldn’t remember and had to read off the teleprompter, was, “And here is the impressive list of nominees.” Unfortunately, “impressed” is not an emotion in his acting arsenal. “Mumbling like a slow-witted doofus” is however, and so he did that instead.

Even better was when it was time to announce Jean Dujardin as the winner. Wahlberg opened the envelope, took a quick breath, began to speak… then saw the name, instantly gave up, and passed it off on Biel. It would have been so great to hear him say, “And the winner is Gene Duh-Jar-Din”. Especially if there were someone there actually named that. What a thrill it would have been for Gene and his family.