Jessica Simpson Says She Weighs 170 Pounds

By author March 14, 2012 @ 11:30 AM

spl364512

Oh, and I forgot to mention that she can’t get enough dick right now either. Us Weekly has the disgusting quote. Ready to revisit breakfast?

I am definitely ‘feeling intimate,”” said the sassy Texan said — and how! “I’m kind of unstoppable right now. The Big O is, like, the biggest O ever!” Former NFL pro Johnson, 32, is definitely game, she added. “He’s always ready.

Great, so now we not only know that she loves sex and her fiance is constantly erect but she’s also terrible at lying math. In fairness to Jessica, those scales at the weigh station are constantly being damaged by the huge truck tires, so a recalibration is probably needed.

That’s not even the best part of the story. Ready for this?

I try to be like 110 pounds.

Yes, and I try to be a millionaire every time I buy a scratch-off ticket. Some things just aren’t meant to be. If I could make a suggestion, Jess? Just take your tray from the buffet when you’re done making your choices and toss it on the scale. You’ll get way closer.

(Image Source = Fame/Flynet)

wwtdd

(21) Comments

  1. avatar
    2 fingers 1 Thumb 03/14/2012 11:41

    Does this woman actually eat babies?

  2. avatar
    The Original Lo Rider 03/14/2012 11:50

    She’s nearly ready to pop – damn give her a break! Whatever happened to the scrutiny on Beyonce’s “pregnancy”? No way did that bitch give birth to a healthy baby in 6 mos. At least Jess has her own babies.

  3. avatar
    2 fingers 1 Thumb 03/14/2012 11:59

    I have no idea what that means, but I like it.

  4. avatar
    Rok 03/14/2012 12:03

    All I care about is getting at least 8 oz of her afterbirth so I can saute it up in some virgin olive oil with shallots and serve on toast.

  5. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 03/14/2012 12:04

    FORE!

  6. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 03/14/2012 12:05

    Rok, Its beautiful outside! Ask your boss if you can move your desk outside. I’ll come help you.

  7. avatar
    Observer 03/14/2012 12:12

    Mr. Nutt….

    …..Rok’s wife doesn’t let him go outside….!

  8. avatar
    Observer 03/14/2012 12:15

    I would STILL let Jessica Simpson suck my dick…..!

    …even at 170 pounds…..!

  9. avatar
    Rok 03/14/2012 12:15

    Nutt,
    I am home today in Michigan. Heading to Tiger’s Spring training in Florida tomorrow.

    I just took a shit while I was on a conference call.

    It was like a dream come true.

    I swear to God . . . I got a little choked up.

  10. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 03/14/2012 12:17

    Rok, you are the man! If I ever decide to grow up, I wana be just like you.

  11. avatar
    Observer 03/14/2012 12:19

    I still whack-off to her Elle nudes on a daily basis……

    ….though I might switch to this one…….

    http://www.jessicasimpsonnudefakes.com/pics/jessica-simpson-fake-7.jpg

  12. avatar
    Johnny Dickshot 03/14/2012 12:20

    CNN just reported that we have a black president.
    Did you guys know about this?

    I am assuming you are all Democrats and feel our country is in good hands.
    You sem like a pretty open minded group of guys.

    I feel like I am really fitting in well for being new.

  13. avatar
    Observer 03/14/2012 12:31

    Johnny Dickshot……

    …a black president….??

    What’s more amazing….that he is president….or that he has a job at all…?

  14. avatar
    Observer 03/14/2012 12:31

    How can one join the NCAA March madness…???

    I forget if I got an e-mail or if it was posted here….??

  15. avatar
    Dave 03/14/2012 14:31

    That’s insane how huge she is. She’s only like 5 feet tall too don’t forget so 170 is about right. Either way, my girlfriend is almost 5 months pregnant with my daughter and she’s 5’6″ and weighs 134 pounds. I don’t think she will get much bigger than 150 or so. Jessica is carrying a freaking linebacker in there and she’s WAY overweight for a healthy pregnancy.

  16. avatar
    RangerLG 03/14/2012 14:33

    I’m pound her while she’s preggers. I want to see that kid with dents in her head.

  17. avatar
    RangerLG 03/14/2012 14:33

    I’d is what I meant to type.

  18. avatar
    Gildorg 03/14/2012 14:53

    She will never be hot again…

  19. avatar
    DBXdarkangel 03/14/2012 16:30

    SHE IS NOT PREGNANT!! Shes just fat and fucking ugly!!

  20. avatar
    cord 03/14/2012 19:51

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylVQbOUYE2I

    Yeah in your bra!

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