Candice Swanepoel is an elite model

By brendon May 02, 2012 @ 10:48 AM


Supermodel Candice Swanepoel was on the beach on St. Barts yesterday to shoot for Victoria’s Secret, and I don’t know who else they have down there but she’s in trouble because Candice has really set the bar for jutting her ass out at an impossible angle while somehow not tipping over.

(image source = fame/flynet)

(36) Comments

  1. avatar
    Mr. Poop 05/02/2012 10:52

    No way could I fit my cock in her.

  2. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 05/02/2012 10:59

    Mr Poop.
    Don’t be a quitter…
    Keep trying.

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  4. avatar
    minimosh 05/02/2012 11:14

    Thing is, I couldn’t tell her apart from 100 other blonde models…

  5. avatar
    Dr Poop 05/02/2012 11:14

    I’d warm my speculum up for her.

  6. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 05/02/2012 11:15

    I’d tap her ass, but I’ll think about the lovely Kate Upton while I do it!

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  9. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/02/2012 11:31

    Start reading about four paragraphs down.

  10. avatar
    Dr Poop 05/02/2012 11:35

    “He kneaded this breast in the same manner and as he squeezed a bit of milk from the nipple, instead of dabbing it away he began telling me how I could prevent nipple irritation if after each nursing I left milk on the nipple to air dry as he traced the drops of milk around the hard, tight peak.”

    This man needs to have his licensed revoked.

    I hope he washed his hands when he was done.

  11. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/02/2012 11:43

    A joke for Dr. Poop.

    A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial; he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade. “The instructor said, ‘During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.”
    After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career.”

  12. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/02/2012 11:46

    A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son’s innocence, the mother turns around and says, “Don’t worry; that was an insect.” To which, her son replies, “I’m surprised it could get off the ground with a huge dick like that.”

  13. avatar
    harleydavidson 05/02/2012 11:56

    shes no kate upton but she would do.

  14. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/02/2012 12:00

    The average man’s penis is three times the length of his thumb.

  15. avatar
    Hammer 05/02/2012 12:12

    Many gentlemen are examining their thumb right now.

    Well played, good sir. Hammer has very generously sized thumbs.

  16. avatar
    Tylerdurden389 05/02/2012 12:17

    Miranda Kerr used to be my favorite VS model. Then she had a kid. Used goods. Moving on. This one is my new fav. Thanks for the nudes!!

  17. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/02/2012 12:19

    The average human head weighs 8 to 12 pounds.

  18. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/02/2012 12:20

    There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo.

  19. avatar
    Observer 05/02/2012 12:33

    What’s a henway….?

  20. avatar
    Observer 05/02/2012 12:35

    Mr. Nutt……

    ….that story reminds me of my newest physician……..a Swedish accented female………blonde……

    ….my prostate is swollen as I think about it……

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