Normally, Gwyneth Paltrows website Goop is all about giving out advice, because Gwyneth Paltrow is just like you! (note: Gwyneth Paltrow is nothing like you) but now she’s added a store to sell clothes made exclusively for the site.
As a simple working mom, Paltrow knows people need basics, like a white t-shirt, which she calls an “essential wardrobe staple”, and then charges $90 for. Now she’s introducing a simple black bikini that sells for $185.
Of course, you could get a similar bikini from Victorias Secret for $24, but would it have “adjustable tie-strings that help flatter your shape”? NO! Those tie-strings are locked into place. Other bikinis are made from a resin that’s poured into a mold, they’re completely rigid, and any attempt to adjust them to flatter your shape will only embarrass you further.
185 bucks….!!!!!
…and only B-cups……..?
What a fucking BITCH…!
I once shit in my pants
I spent $350 on blow on Friday. Seems I could have bought half as much and worn this bikini all wknd!
FUCK.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
What the hell is crochet?
Hemingway’s Foyer – Your Last Place To Be A Man
http://www.hemingwaysfoyer.com
I shit in the front yard once when I was 8 years old.
my $5 garage sale speedo looks better than that shit.
of course it also came with crabs but i was able to solve that
Farrah Fawcett shit in the front yard of a fancy Hollywood party once. Tis true.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I have never shit in an airplane
Does it come with a complementary hand job from Paltrow?
(since at that 185 price she’s already fucked you)…
My buddy had to shit in LA once and he leaned up against a building (it was dark) and took a shit on the side. Later, he found he lost his phone. He got a phone call the next day from a church that found the phone, next to his steamy pile.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
How about. No. Thank you.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I shit my pants once too. Luckily it was in a hotel lobby before a meeting and I had time to go up and wash my ass and put on clean underwear.
Unfortunately, my shirt sleeve got in the way when I was wiping my ass and I had a shit stain on it all day.
Not only did it smell bad, but the button scraped my asshole and I couldn’t get the shit out of it.
Wow. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
New Xenu spawn up.
Chicago… Taking the lead from Atlanta as the next city to be “Detroited”.
http://lsu.k.af accept cc or wu or bank transfer