Jessica Simpsons diet goal: 1 pound a week

Just before she gave birth back in May, Jessica Simpson signed a deal with Weight Watchers that will pay her between 3 and 4 million dollars if she can go from a reported 210 pounds back down to 130.

That’s 80 pounds. It’s gonna take discipline and a lot of murderous workouts to lose 80 pounds. Unfortunately for Weight Watchers, Jessicas workouts are more like moo-derous. As in she’s a fucking cow who’s just gonna sit there. Radar says…

“She’s not trying to drop 10 pounds a week or anything crazy like that. She wants to do it at her own pace and make sure she’s healthy.”
Jessica hits the gym frequently with celebrity trainer Harley Paternak, and she’s a dedicated student.
“Her goal right now is to lose one pound a week and Harley’s training program is keeping her on that schedule,” the friend said.

Most women seem to lose about half of what they gained in a few weeks simply by not being pregnant anymore, but Jessicas pace is much more relaxed. At one pound a week, it will be January 30, 2014 until she loses all 80 pounds. Weight Watchers’ best bet now would be to send her something with salmonella and then pray she gets pancreatitis.