Mila Kunis is Esquire magazines Sexiest Woman Alive

By brendon October 08, 2012 @ 9:04 AM


It’s thattimeof yearagain, when the persnickety queers at Esquire go on Google Trends to find a popular actress and pretend as if they like girls for more than shoe shopping and gossip. It’s the 2012 Sexiest Woman Alive, the winner is Mila Kunis, and as always, the article is as creepy as a priest gently brushing your face with the back of his hand.

“A brief encounter with the most beautiful, opinionated, talkative, and funny movie star that we’ve all known since she was nine.”

I FUCKING HAVE NOT! And I looked it up, I doubt anyone else has either, so there’s no reason on earth this “sexy” article should be talking about a 9 year old. God it’s like getting a valentine from Jerry Sandusky. And that’s how it starts. Here’s how it ends:

“It’s 10:30 now and she wants to take a walk. She’s a little hungry, and it’s a beautiful night, and no one even knows she’s here.”

Oh Jesus Christ. Please tell me someone has seen Mila Kunis in the past few days. This sounds less like an interview and more like a real-time confession.

(9) Comments

  1. avatar
    LoK 10/08/2012 10:26

    about fucking time for a worthy post

  2. avatar
    MacDaddy 10/08/2012 12:44

    If you are a man and you wouldn’t fuck Mila…..You’re GAY

  3. avatar
    LoK 10/08/2012 13:10

    Lets be fair to the eunuchs out there, Mac

  4. avatar
    CalrissianRain 10/08/2012 13:20

    Mila Kunis is Esquire magazines Sexiest Woman ALIVE?

  5. avatar
    LoK 10/08/2012 14:12

    No, sexiest woman sort-of ALIVE

  6. avatar
    Thissiteiswack 10/08/2012 17:32

    Was she even the best looking on 70s? Or were Laura Prepons breasts the best looking? Her ass looks awesome. I’d just have to block out the images of her, homo alone, and kutcher giving each other reciprocal ass play.

  7. avatar
    Tipped 10/08/2012 18:39

    I watched black swan yesterday. I was lucky enough to turn it on just at the super psycho hot lesbian scene! It was a good day!

  8. avatar
    Tylerdurden389 10/08/2012 20:20

    @Tipped: Same here. Also, I always get a laugh when the waiter asks her if her burger has enough cheese and she quips back “Not as much as you do”.

  9. avatar
    sighs 10/09/2012 14:21

    first of all mac daddy i looove next door nikki mmm and finally that is one bitaBLE BUTT

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