And here we are…

By brendon February 06, 2013 @ 11:46 AM


So. Hey. It’s me. Brendon. How are you today?

As you (hopefully) noticed, things have been pretty quiet lately, but if you were on twitter you know it’s because I was sort of on the verge of being fired last week.

As of today, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is I wasn’t. If you think I suck (which is possible since I’m the only writer and have written essentially every word since day one) then that was also the bad news. I guess you thought this blog about how fat Jessica Simpson is was gonna fire me and hire Jim Jefferies or Louie CK. Because, yeah, that makes perfect sense if you think about it. Jackass.

But I digress. The issue here is that I’ve gotten astounding lazy over the past few months, and for that I truly do apologize. That was never the case in the past, which is how the site got built up in the first place and probably why you even know that it exists.

Much of that is my fault. Basically, when a company pays you (fairly well by the way) to write a specific number of articles on a daily basis in a timely fashion, but instead you download Evelyn Lin porns and call bama football fans faggots on message boards, employers hate that (to be fair, and I’m not pointing any fingers here, but there were never any rules that specifically mentioned Evelyn Lin by name).

But here we are now, and as far as I’m concerned it’s pretty god damn great. For about 3 years I’ve been saying that this current model of blog or website or whatever does not work. There’s no way to say this without sounding like a dickhead, but I’ve written online for a long time, and I very much helped invent the model every blog uses. It’s …

- Headline Picture
- Summary
- Quote
- Rude Comment/Joke
- Pictures

When I wrote Superficial and then co-created Tyler, there were like 3 other sites (Pink is the new Blog, Perez, called Page 666 at the time, and Defamer). Now every dickhead who’s ever gotten an “LOL” on a message board thinks he can write a website, and almost every single one follows that exact model.

And it does not work anymore. It simply does not. It’s 2013 and that old shit is not good enough. I know what to do and I have been begging to change things. It’s frustrating, and I apologize to people who read the page as I got more and more bored and annoyed.

And just to be perfectly clear, I’m not implying this is the fault of the people I work for. As many many ex-girlfriends will attest, I can be a pouty dickhead on a wide variety of topics. Despite that, for the most part, almost everyone was nothing but patient and fair. They just had a different opinion.

But now we have a new CEO, and I think things can finally change, which is why today could be great. I’m actually optimistic as hell. It won’t be today, but soon.

So that’s where things stand now. Again, I really do apologize for the way things have been handled lately. Just please hang out a little longer. I’m still gonna write the page and post much earlier and more often, and I really want to find a second writer (preferably a girl so I look like less of a misogynistic dick) so just don’t bail yet. If nothing else, even the blank pages with nothing on them are funnier than Two And A Half Man.


hit me up on twitter if you have any questions; I’ll get to as much as a I can

(70) Comments

  1. avatar
    SpaceMonkey 02/06/2013 15:39

    I’m with a couple of the other commenters, this is about the 10th time I have read that things are about to change and the site will get good again. It’s bullshit. Why should I think this time will be any different? Plus, fuck you if you don’t like your job. No one does. Get the fuck over yourself.

  2. avatar
    comeback68 02/06/2013 15:40

    Fuck those pussies. You’re great and don’t let anyone tell you any different. Welcome back man. Now let’s end this dick suck fest and get back to biz.

  3. avatar
    Super Doop 02/06/2013 15:54


    Not bad. You just gotta remember to breathe in through the side of your mouth, and out through the nose. And you can never eat asparagus.

  4. avatar
    Wartiger 02/06/2013 15:56

    Please, please keep writing. I check your blog obsessively throughout the day looking for more jokes, and have for years. This MW person is a terrible writer, please don’t pass the torch to them. It’s like they’ve never actually heard a joke before, but they think they maybe saw a description of one somewhere once, but the description was written the way Ikea directions are.

  5. avatar
    Picnic Bear 02/06/2013 15:59

    [rubs eyes sleepily]

  6. avatar
    Heisenberg 02/06/2013 16:03

    So this will probably be the only post of the day, awesome. I can see how different things are already!

  7. avatar
    Gildorg 02/06/2013 16:14

    Have I already been banned for posting?

  8. avatar
    Gildorg 02/06/2013 16:17

    I wish to apologize for anything that I might have said that offended the overlords of this site.

  9. avatar
    Buck614 02/06/2013 16:27

    We are not leaving.

  10. avatar
    Buck614 02/06/2013 16:28

    Glad to have you back!

  11. avatar
    mvresics 02/06/2013 16:37

    I’m a girl, I’ll be your writer!

  12. avatar
    DoubleNut 02/06/2013 16:56

    And I second Super Doop… right on brother.

  13. avatar
    Vichus 02/06/2013 17:09

    When you left that message about “bad news” I thought someone had died. Almost getting canned is horrible, too, but this is better news to hear.

  14. avatar
    sihaya22 02/06/2013 17:30


    I have been reading this blog for about 6 years now and although I agree that lately it has been lacking the usual quality, I’m glad you are working on it and I look forward to reading your hilarious and great posts for long. and please don’t start being nice and giving us hugs and xoxoxos every time you write. I come here to crack up at nasty, racist and inappropriate jokes, if I wanted xoxoxo I would go to cute overload or something!

    ps: am I woman and if you are looking for a writer, she better be damn ready to give and take one misogynistic joke or 10!

  15. avatar
    JoshyCage 02/06/2013 17:37

    I check this page multiple times daily and it seems like on most days there were 3-4 posts and it seemed like after every couple hours another post would be up. Maybe you slacked on a couple days here and there, and I was bummed for about 30 seconds but overall no biggie.

    Good work and good luck!

    Also no one can blame you for downloading Evelyn Lin porns. That should be acceptable 24/7. She is hot.

  16. avatar
    ChugALugPoohBear 02/06/2013 17:43

    First Time Comment’r. I learned about your site a few years back listening to Opie n’ Anthony. Its been my homepage ever since. I appreciate your honesty in what you wrote. We all get tired from time to time. Looking forward to the future of WWTDD!!

  17. avatar
    Kubo 02/06/2013 18:06

    Fuck the haters.
    Glad you’re back.
    Looking forward to the funny.

  18. avatar
    Tylerwoulddefinitelynotapprove 02/06/2013 18:29

    Super Doop is my new hero.

    Hey, if he can get it back to what it was, great

  19. avatar
    mrrydogg 02/06/2013 18:55

    Mixed feelings here….glad your back but you probably better get your shit together soon so you dont blow this. I love this site but it has become a drag, your sense of humor is great but nowadays people have short attention spans and a fuckin kitten video is all it takes to draw people away. Hope u make good on this…im rootin for ya!

  20. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 02/06/2013 19:01

    Girl writer? Meh. 99% of women aren’t funny. But the 1% who are, are great. Don’t stick us with one of the 99%.

    Now quit downloading porn and get BACK TO WORK.

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