So. Hey. It’s me. Brendon. How are you today?
As you (hopefully) noticed, things have been pretty quiet lately, but if you were on twitter you know it’s because I was sort of on the verge of being fired last week.
As of today, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is I wasn’t. If you think I suck (which is possible since I’m the only writer and have written essentially every word since day one) then that was also the bad news. I guess you thought this blog about how fat Jessica Simpson is was gonna fire me and hire Jim Jefferies or Louie CK. Because, yeah, that makes perfect sense if you think about it. Jackass.
But I digress. The issue here is that I’ve gotten astounding lazy over the past few months, and for that I truly do apologize. That was never the case in the past, which is how the site got built up in the first place and probably why you even know that it exists.
Much of that is my fault. Basically, when a company pays you (fairly well by the way) to write a specific number of articles on a daily basis in a timely fashion, but instead you download Evelyn Lin porns and call bama football fans faggots on message boards, employers hate that (to be fair, and I’m not pointing any fingers here, but there were never any rules that specifically mentioned Evelyn Lin by name).
But here we are now, and as far as I’m concerned it’s pretty god damn great. For about 3 years I’ve been saying that this current model of blog or website or whatever does not work. There’s no way to say this without sounding like a dickhead, but I’ve written online for a long time, and I very much helped invent the model every blog uses. It’s …
- Headline Picture
- Summary
- Quote
- Rude Comment/Joke
- Pictures
When I wrote Superficial and then co-created Tyler, there were like 3 other sites (Pink is the new Blog, Perez, called Page 666 at the time, and Defamer). Now every dickhead who’s ever gotten an “LOL” on a message board thinks he can write a website, and almost every single one follows that exact model.
And it does not work anymore. It simply does not. It’s 2013 and that old shit is not good enough. I know what to do and I have been begging to change things. It’s frustrating, and I apologize to people who read the page as I got more and more bored and annoyed.
And just to be perfectly clear, I’m not implying this is the fault of the people I work for. As many many ex-girlfriends will attest, I can be a pouty dickhead on a wide variety of topics. Despite that, for the most part, almost everyone was nothing but patient and fair. They just had a different opinion.
But now we have a new CEO, and I think things can finally change, which is why today could be great. I’m actually optimistic as hell. It won’t be today, but soon.
So that’s where things stand now. Again, I really do apologize for the way things have been handled lately. Just please hang out a little longer. I’m still gonna write the page and post much earlier and more often, and I really want to find a second writer (preferably a girl so I look like less of a misogynistic dick) so just don’t bail yet. If nothing else, even the blank pages with nothing on them are funnier than Two And A Half Man.
xoxox
Brendon
hit me up on twitter if you have any questions; I’ll get to as much as a I can
Vagina.
All the shit with Chris Brown today and no posts? I call Bullshit.
He’s just placating us.
“Waaaah!! I’m sad!! I don’t wanna work!!! I promise I’ll make everything better…..tomorrow”. Jerkoff.Time for your Overlords to fire your irresponsible, drug-addicted ass and replace you with someone who’s not such a fuckup. Someone more reliable. Lindsay Lohan, for example.
I was beginning to wonder what the hell was going on. I’m glad you weren’t fired and I hope the new bosses give you the support and resources that O&A and lil Yimmy could only dream about.
fucking glad to have you back, man
It’s always a good sign when bored fuck-ups try to hold on by talking about their upcoming wheel reinvention…real soon. I’m sure a year from now we’ll all be reflecting on this dawning of a new age in gossip and tits blogging.
Dude, all jokes aside, great to see you motivated again… I knew I was right not to give up on this site.
Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh….
This old saw? Cry me a river.
I think we should begin the new era of WWTDD by banning commenters who cross some unseen line!
Wait… what?
Oh, we’ve already been there, done that.
My bad!
as i said last night, (and was deleted) WHERE”S THE TITS?????
The difference is astonishing. He’s really managed to turn things around here. Bravo.
Glad to have u back, Brend0n.
Welcome back. ^.^
good to have you back!
My previous comment is nowhere to be seen, so once again, congrats on not getting the sack from what must be one of the easiest jobs in the universe. Seriously though, hope you get back to your best, ’cause that shit is awesome
I don’t care what you write, almost never read it.. It’s all about the celebrity tits man. Lately there has been zero content.. I’ve only been checking out of habit.
When did I sign on for this? This is a blog about people’s jobs being unfulfilling now?
Wait… This site used to be funny?
Posting 3 articles 3 days a week is exhausting. I’m gonna go take six pills after writing these sentences. I promise (for the 20th time) that everything will be awesome on Monday. My stupid bosses actually expect me to do some work once in awhile. They are so horrible and life isn’t fair.
i guess that answers that question…