And here we are…

By brendon February 06, 2013 @ 11:46 AM


So. Hey. It’s me. Brendon. How are you today?

As you (hopefully) noticed, things have been pretty quiet lately, but if you were on twitter you know it’s because I was sort of on the verge of being fired last week.

As of today, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is I wasn’t. If you think I suck (which is possible since I’m the only writer and have written essentially every word since day one) then that was also the bad news. I guess you thought this blog about how fat Jessica Simpson is was gonna fire me and hire Jim Jefferies or Louie CK. Because, yeah, that makes perfect sense if you think about it. Jackass.

But I digress. The issue here is that I’ve gotten astounding lazy over the past few months, and for that I truly do apologize. That was never the case in the past, which is how the site got built up in the first place and probably why you even know that it exists.

Much of that is my fault. Basically, when a company pays you (fairly well by the way) to write a specific number of articles on a daily basis in a timely fashion, but instead you download Evelyn Lin porns and call bama football fans faggots on message boards, employers hate that (to be fair, and I’m not pointing any fingers here, but there were never any rules that specifically mentioned Evelyn Lin by name).

But here we are now, and as far as I’m concerned it’s pretty god damn great. For about 3 years I’ve been saying that this current model of blog or website or whatever does not work. There’s no way to say this without sounding like a dickhead, but I’ve written online for a long time, and I very much helped invent the model every blog uses. It’s …

- Headline Picture
- Summary
- Quote
- Rude Comment/Joke
- Pictures

When I wrote Superficial and then co-created Tyler, there were like 3 other sites (Pink is the new Blog, Perez, called Page 666 at the time, and Defamer). Now every dickhead who’s ever gotten an “LOL” on a message board thinks he can write a website, and almost every single one follows that exact model.

And it does not work anymore. It simply does not. It’s 2013 and that old shit is not good enough. I know what to do and I have been begging to change things. It’s frustrating, and I apologize to people who read the page as I got more and more bored and annoyed.

And just to be perfectly clear, I’m not implying this is the fault of the people I work for. As many many ex-girlfriends will attest, I can be a pouty dickhead on a wide variety of topics. Despite that, for the most part, almost everyone was nothing but patient and fair. They just had a different opinion.

But now we have a new CEO, and I think things can finally change, which is why today could be great. I’m actually optimistic as hell. It won’t be today, but soon.

So that’s where things stand now. Again, I really do apologize for the way things have been handled lately. Just please hang out a little longer. I’m still gonna write the page and post much earlier and more often, and I really want to find a second writer (preferably a girl so I look like less of a misogynistic dick) so just don’t bail yet. If nothing else, even the blank pages with nothing on them are funnier than Two And A Half Man.


hit me up on twitter if you have any questions; I’ll get to as much as a I can

(70) Comments

  1. avatar
    ZERG 02/07/2013 18:11

    get it on dude !

  2. avatar
    NJNoles01 02/07/2013 18:53

    Rumor was you do visit the MB…guess it’s true. Perhaps you are the Real Steve Cook?

    Welcome back and look forward to lots of hot ass & tits!!!! Stop trashing Bama when they have smashed LSU!!

    Fellow MB brethren…..

  3. avatar
    xekrubx 02/07/2013 19:12

    I cant remember when I started reading this site or where I heard of it from. It was quite possibly from listening to Opie and Anthony every day for 6-7 years now. When the site was purchased and you weren’t allowed to post nudes I was very bummed but I stuck with it. Coming home from work each day to read celebrity bashing or seeing these dumb bitches with their tits out has been great, Coming home and seeing the same articles from the day before stunk but I knew eventually there would be something new. I love the humor and not giving these overpaid, overrated, self important assholes an inch. Fuck Perez, fuck TMZ, fuck egotastic. Its all about WWTD!

  4. avatar
    oliverstoneD 02/07/2013 19:32

    i have been reading your blog for years but it has become painfully obvious that you haven’t given a shit in awhile. this used to be the first page i checked every day and now i don’t look at it for weeks. ill give you another chance.

  5. avatar
    cat418 02/07/2013 20:10

    As a chick, one of the main reasons I come to this site is because your a misogynistic dick. It’s part of the allure. Don’t change man!

  6. avatar
    rachel 02/07/2013 20:29

    Have never commented on a website ever but….

    You’ve got a genuine talent and are funny as hell. Having worked a ‘super cool’ job that I hated for years, I just want to flag that it’s ok to move on from something if it’s not making you happy.

    If you want to keep going (which I hope you do), do it balls out and guns blazing, make the changes you want and show the bitches how it’s done!


  7. avatar
    NJNoles01 02/07/2013 23:03

    Cat418…… Listen babe…… There are rules that must be followed and NEVER compromised…. Pics or GTFO.

  8. avatar
    brb420 02/08/2013 00:15

    The only two blogs I regularly read in like ’07 were you and GorillaMask. But I gave up on GM after like a year. Your content is awesome. Jokes and Tits are a demo that cover a shit ton of people. Maybe get some HTML5 up in here. Branch out and your potential is endless. Think what Carolla has done to the podcast. Blogs are to the press what the podcast is to radio. The self produced medium is proving to be better, more genuine. Hopefully you and your new CEO can work together to improve your product. Even if he sucks, make it work. Shit, it’s gotta be worth the scrilla!!!

  9. avatar
    Bipson 02/09/2013 03:51

    You should have been fired. This site is stagnating because YOU have stagnated. Nice try blaming it on “new management” though.

    You suggest a “new direction” with the same old writer? When the fuck has that ever worked?!

    To get a “fresh” perspective takes nothing less then fresh blood, any modern company knows that.

    PS- Nice try with the “I invented the modern blog” bs EVERY BLOG UNDER THE SUN ALSO CLAIMS.

  10. avatar
    cara 02/09/2013 16:07

    Glad you are figuring it out. For the last few months, I had assumed this blog was going the way of Ol Yeller and after the 28th, I assumed you had been shot and buried in a yard somewhere.

    Long time follower, first time poster. Keep it up. I want to continue being horrified at myself for laughing at such misogynistic crap.

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