Guys Who Say Girls Don’t Need Makeup Have Never Woken Up Next to Morning Shift Stripper

By Johnny Redd February 25, 2013 @ 4:35 PM

Kendra Wilkinson by day and by night.

Busy beaver be the former stripper turned into mom-friendly book writer, appearing by day at a practice session for what certainly must be the most idiotic television program in the long annals of such media, Splash, one of ten or fifteen new celebrity diving shows appearing on network television shortly because some dumbass in a focus group said it sounded like something they’s want to watch. I’m looking at you liquid detergent buying middle-aged housewife from Bakersfield, CA where such matters are put to science.

And Kendra by night, hitting the town during Oscar weekend to remind people that they used to pay her to get naked and she was usually worth a decent tip. She does still put on quite the public show when she’s working it, old-pro style. This is the girl Hef hired to fluff; I don’t think he would have hired diving board wet and scared Kendra, well, maybe if she had a dick.

Photo credit: PCN / SPLASH

 

wwtdd

(56) Comments

  1. lethargic 02/25/2013 18:08

    Holy fuck balls. This new stuff is so anti-funny it’s actually making the site hilarious in a Plan 9 sort of way.

  2. zionium 02/25/2013 18:14

    7 year reader, first time commenter.

    This was the worst post on this site, ever.

    It’s not about the writer’s sense of humor. It has nothing to do with tits or lack thereof. It’s that the writer’s general sentence structure is absurd. It’s completely unreadable. And that means he doesn’t undertand the audience. It also means the person who appointed him to this position doesn’t understand that the writer doesn’t understand the audience.

    I wouldn’t have left the site just because you fired the founder. I wouldn’t have even left if the posts weren’t as funny. But when it’s HARD to read the posts, and when that leads to me DREADING the next wall of obscure text, well….fuck that.

  3. Toast 02/25/2013 18:25

    I say give Bill a week. He can only get better.

  4. Toast 02/25/2013 18:27

    *wiggles pener

  5. Lick-it 02/25/2013 18:29

    Toast……

    …that is one fine Pener….

  6. Shank Peters 02/25/2013 18:31

    This sucks The Devils Onion Ring……

  7. PunkA 02/25/2013 18:32

    Wow. the writing on this site sucks nard. Try being more concise Bill and Collin and whatever other dolts are writing.

    It’s like they hired to newsroom idiots from TMZ to write this shit.

  8. howlett23 02/25/2013 18:34

    wow…this site is just stupid now..are they trying to be funny? It seems like I’m just reading Women’s home journal or the O magazine..? wtf did they do to this site..used to be funny, damn you Brendon with your substance abuse..I’m done and will not return, I don’t visit this site for “gossip” which seems to be all it is now…f@ggots.

  9. RohtoMotors 02/25/2013 18:40

    I’ve been coming here for like 5 years (never commented before), and in a day, Buzzfeed fucked it all up. Nobody was coming here for celebrity gossip. We were coming for Brendan’s writing. You better change the name of this blog, because your audience will soon be 13 year olds who have no idea who the fuck Tyler Durden is. Not that you seem to give a fuck.

    GONE

  10. Toast 02/25/2013 19:01

    Bill my dear, now that you are here, I ask you to lift the ban on the old posters.

  11. Toast 02/25/2013 19:07

    Listen to all you little girls . you all need to shut the fuck up and give the new guy a chance
    then again, there are other places you can go visit where the old posters hang out
    one is ….. H e m I n g w a y s f o y e r . c o m
    so, either give bill a chance or go over there

  12. Habitual Line Stepper 02/25/2013 19:13

    Girls Who Say Next Don’t Need Makeup Guys Stripper Have Up to Never Woken Morning Shift.

    We have this crazy thing up here in Canada, it’s called ‘education’. You guys probably got rid of that to pay for some war effort tax cutback … Don’t worry, you can hardly tell.

    Or should I say, Worry don’t tell hardly you can.

  13. TurdSandwich007 02/25/2013 19:13

    Too bad the only reason to visit this site anymore is to read the hilarious comments about the horrible new writing. Good luck keeping this turd afloat.

  14. Shake-em 02/25/2013 19:28

    Toast……..@19:07

    ….THAT is a GREAT recommendation……you seem like a fine fellow….

  15. TheBlackReturns 02/25/2013 19:58

    Why are there 50 comments now on every post, even though the number of posts has increased? Has there been a puppet invasion?

    I don’t know what’s going on, but i can tell it’s bullsh*t.

  16. TellYourMomToStopCallingMe 02/25/2013 20:04

    L.A. Is overflowing with talented, comedic writers who put Brendon Sheen to shame, and Buzz comes up with this sorry lot? It’s evidently apparent that none of the new writers have any experience. Word Salad seems to be the only thing being served, poorly, on the new site.

  17. Shake-em 02/25/2013 20:23

    The Black Returns…..@19:58

    ….you could be right….all the new avatars look the same……

  18. chimpthechimp 02/25/2013 20:24

    Brendon couldn’t spell but at least he was funny and knew about sentence structure. I hope Bill is on trial and that the results are returned soon. I give this place one more week. All my friends have already said they’re not returning.

  19. Shake-em 02/25/2013 20:25

    ChimptheChimp……

    …you have friends…..NICE!

  20. Ross MacLochness 02/25/2013 21:08

    If Brenden got Tommied, then how about giving this illiterate son of a bitch the Stacks treatment?

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