Guys Who Say Girls Don’t Need Makeup Have Never Woken Up Next to Morning Shift Stripper

By Johnny Redd February 25, 2013 @ 4:35 PM

Kendra Wilkinson by day and by night.

Busy beaver be the former stripper turned into mom-friendly book writer, appearing by day at a practice session for what certainly must be the most idiotic television program in the long annals of such media, Splash, one of ten or fifteen new celebrity diving shows appearing on network television shortly because some dumbass in a focus group said it sounded like something they’s want to watch. I’m looking at you liquid detergent buying middle-aged housewife from Bakersfield, CA where such matters are put to science.

And Kendra by night, hitting the town during Oscar weekend to remind people that they used to pay her to get naked and she was usually worth a decent tip. She does still put on quite the public show when she’s working it, old-pro style. This is the girl Hef hired to fluff; I don’t think he would have hired diving board wet and scared Kendra, well, maybe if she had a dick.

Photo credit: PCN / SPLASH

 

wwtdd

(56) Comments

  1. dotdfan 02/25/2013 21:08

    “Busy beaver be the former stripper turned into mom-friendly book writer, appearing by day at a practice session for what certainly must be the most idiotic television program in the long annals of such media, Splash, one of ten or fifteen new celebrity diving shows appearing on network television shortly because some dumbass in a focus group said it sounded like something they’s want to watch.”

    That is a 67 word, 396 character sentence. It doesn’t make any fucking sense at all. You guys should just torpedo WWTDD tomorrow if you are going to post this garbage every two hours.

  2. chimpthechimp 02/25/2013 21:14

    @Shake-em – I say friends, but it’s my mum. She sits by a mirror, that way she loves me twice as much. You should come over… she earns big on the fetish market.

  3. mr. shank 02/25/2013 21:20

    don’t worry bill…they’ll keep coming back…keep writing.
    where else they gonna go?

  4. sofakingawesome 02/25/2013 21:21

    Way To Capitalize Every Fucking Word You Illiterate Cunt.

  5. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater 02/25/2013 21:21

    (I am a 6 year reader, first time commenter) Buzz, seriously, you are located in LA. This should be an easy job rec to fill. “WANTED: Male-chauvinist, comedy writer, capable of writing ~3 short paragraphs a day about hot girls and the DB’s that date them. Must be able to operate wordpress and be proficient in English” I personally know a writer that would blow you for this job. (That offer only stands until Friday BTW)

  6. fuckbuzzmedia 02/25/2013 21:44

    TheBlackReturns: It’s people like me who never posted comments before actually deciding to register to say how shitty the posts are.

    Fuck it.

  7. hinty 02/25/2013 22:15

    Holy shit. Brendan might have been inconsistant, but he was lightyears ahead of these substitutes. I’ve read Tyler for years now, but I’m out now. I’d wish you good luck, but you’ll need more than that.

  8. cinthecity 02/25/2013 22:43

    Long term reader, first time commenter.

    You do realize “trying too hard” is the antithesis to everything Brendan did here, and what the majority of wwtdd posts were blasting, right?

    There is more fail on this page today than the last 7 years combined.

    Also keep seeding your own articles with comments – maybe your web pr firm can also help you make these incredible articles go viral guys!

    OUT – someone email me when Brendan puts his new site up.

  9. Toast 02/25/2013 23:14

    Biill, get a goodnight sleep. Rub one out, relax
    and come back tomorrow and show us how good you can be.
    We are counting on you.

    Cheers!

  10. SexyRicardSimmons 02/25/2013 23:15

    When they find Brendon dead in a puddle of his own vomit, can I poke him with a stick?

  11. Not A Plant 02/26/2013 00:07

    Well, Lick-It and Shake-em are obviously the same person with different screen names. The jury is out on Toast. But the real mystery is whether they are all the same person as Bill, who is the same person as Photo Boy, who is the same person as Colin, who is the same person as I.W. Because these new posters all suck thick, veiny stallion cock and the only way the few supportive comments they’re getting here and there make any sense is if the comments were planted by Buzz people themselves.

    Which actually makes a lot of sense, because WWTDD is getting straight up hate-fucked right now, and deservedly so.

    Stay hot, new guys.

  12. WBRJunior 02/26/2013 00:48

    Where do I even start? Great success! today’s drivel found me among the newly registered commenters, torn between butthurt crying because things are different and also trying to smoke a fatty like they say these days to achieve that special state of mind Bill must have when he thinks he’s about to write one of the longest goddam funny sentences ever. Im a bit sad for you Bill – its probably not your fault you suck so bad, but it is kind of your fault you are doing it in public.

    I dont care what happens to this site, but it definitely sucks, now. Its like Buzz took a busload of retards, gave them extra Ritalin, and told them today’s homework was to pretend they were Perez Hilton while playing the choking game. And Bill had to come back for seconds and thirds. I thought about just posting a picture of a dog turd instead of commenting, but I didn’t want it to be mistaken for a dangerous poisonous snake and scare everyone away.

    I made some copperheads today, BTW. Working on rattlesnakes next.

  13. chanchowancho 02/26/2013 01:35

    Unbelievable! I’ve been reading this site for an eternity, and it wasn’t until the last three posts that I’ve ever felt the need to comment…

    This new copy is insanely bad – Like, ‘Amazon turk’ or ‘pirated Chinese DVD subtitles’ bad.

  14. Lurker 02/26/2013 02:36

    Just registered after many years as a Lurker. This was formerly my go to site for celeb goss but after Brendons recent lack of decent posts and now these new guys taking over I am done with this site. Thanks for the good times and good luck to those who remain circling the carcass!

  15. BrendanIsRetarded 02/26/2013 03:18

    As I said in another post, these new guys suck. This one was especially bad. Eye-crossingly bad. Fuck, Bill, didn’t you see what drugs did to Brendon? Lay off the blow. That post was exactly what a coked-up frat boy, with no sense of comedy or timing, would’ve written.

    Keep the shit short. Go for the quick and dirty joke. For example: “See what a few years of black cock does to a moderately pretty white girl with nice implants?” Easy, done. What the fuck is wrong with you? At least get your stripper reference right, “This is why you never want to see your stripper [hooker] in the morning.” Then post a link to her sex tape and/or buy some nudes from Playboy (our loyalty can’t be bought, but it can be rented).

    Bill, you suck. Also, fuck Brendon, that lazy, junkie cunt. Fuck all of you motherfuckers. Someone better entertain me, fast.

  16. Lick-it 02/26/2013 10:30

    NotAPlant……..@ 00:07……

    ….how can Lick-it and Shake-em be the SAME person……??

    ….I’m sure if they had avatars…..they would look VERY different….

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