Heidi Klum Dominates Them All

It took five hours after the Oscars began last night to finally see a worthwhile site, even more thrilling than all the tributes of Hollywood to their dead — Heidi Klum flashing her model makers and dominating every girl who came before her at the Elton John AIDS Foundation afterparty, including Elton John who shrank away at the site of the German model-multimillionaire looking so fucking Valkyrie and chest proud.

Watch as Heidi prances like a peahen, putting fear into the hearts of the smaller, like Miley Cyrus, the smaller and fatter, like The Kardashians, and even some chick whose name we don’t even know.

Heidi Klum dumped Seal, is banging her bodyguard, and made something like 30 million dollars last year. Now, she’s just going to rub it in your face and you will fucking bow down.

Photo credit: Getty